


Do you trust me?

by Xoscarlettxo



Category: AFTG - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Andreil!, Baltimore, Canon typical violence!, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mutual Pining, Original Character - Freeform, SETH/NEIL BROTP, Seth!lives, Slow Burn., The foxes!, idk what else to tag tbh, lola has a daughter..., this gon be a loooong mf ride so buckle up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 13:14:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 41,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21209144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xoscarlettxo/pseuds/Xoscarlettxo
Summary: Neil Josten has been on the run for 10 years now. Neil and his companion, Raven Lirette, only have each other and Exy, a sport that they would undoubtedly die to play. Raven Lirette is the daughter to the Lola Malcom, the butcher of Baltimore’s right hand woman and one of Neil and Raven’s childhood tormentors. With the odd’s stacked against the pairing, will they be able to set aside their strong willed paranoia and trust those around them?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so I’ve had this idea for awhile now, of Lola having a daughter and Mary escaping with both Neil and Raven (it may be a bit confusing but I like the name so fuck it.) are basically family and have been on the run until Mary dies, the entire reason I made this was because I wanted someone to get with Renee that wasn’t Allison, so I created a character that I have fallen in love with, a mixture of Andrew/Renee/Allison/Nicky if you will (chef’s kiss). This is loosely based on canon, the first few chapters heavily relies on the first few chapters from the first book but after this it’s going to be just me and my wild ideas, this finna be a loong series, hopefully I will finish it. Enjoy.

* * *

“Neil, we have to go.”  
  
Raven’s voice snaps Neil back into mental awareness, they are both standing on a black sanded beach; The smell of saltwater thick in the air. The smell of putrid smoke and gasoline fumes that makes the air unbreathable, his whole body feels the weight of every breath that his body makes, every hiss of the wind on his wind-chapped lips, and it makes him remember who is not here and will never be; his nails bite into his palms, breaking the skin to keep him here, in the now with Raven.

_Raven, who is still here but won’t be if you don’t move now!_ Neil's mind screams at him.

“I know,” Neil says, his voice coming out as a shock, a sound that reminds him of shattering glass on concrete.

Neil forces his gaze upward and away from the coal stained sands and tries to focus on the 1970 Volvo that was once boring, monotone brown that has now been turned into a blackened husk of a car. His mother’s charcoaled bones have long since been buried deep within the Californian earth near the highway just up the hill, a highway they should have been on and away from hours ago.

Neil takes a glance over at Raven, her long hickory curls damp with sweat dangled like fallen branches in the pitch of the inky midnight. He takes in her tear-stained face, not from any emotional attachment to his mother but from the fumes that were emitted from the destroyed car that had made Raven’s eyes water, and that had made Neil cry even more.

He gazes at the crimson cut on her right eyebrow which was just as umber as the rest of her hair and he tries to memorize the features of the only living person Neil knew who would kill for him and Neil would do so in kind for his longtime companion, and finally said: “what do we do now?”

His voice was raw but less so than before. She didn’t reply immediately, instead choosing to march her way up the sandy hill towards the highway. Neil follows her steps mechanically and obediently in his numbed haze. Halfway to the top, she says the words that Neil had been dreading to hear all along.

“We do what we always do, we run.”

-1 year later-

Neil and Raven are perched up on the bleachers, Neil nursing the acrid smoke of a cigarette and trying not to remember the peel of a body glued to a leather car seat slathered with scarlet. While Raven silently sucks down her second cigarette in the last 10 minutes, her fingers are cool on his cheek, a show of affection that he leaned into, tonight was the Millport dingos last game of the season; and to Neil, it was a farewell to something that hadn’t made him feel alive since forever ago. Neil needed Exy like everyone needed oxygen to breathe, and Neil knew Raven held the same sentiments only, less so.

They tapped their cigarettes at the same time, the ash falling gracefully into the chilly Arizona winds, he glanced up at the blacked-out sky and not for the first time- he wondered if his mother was up there- looking down on him and willing herself back to corporeal reality in order to beat the stupidity out of his entire being.

Neil and Raven jumped into high alert as a door creaked open, they both shuffled their respective duffles beneath their feet further under the bleachers stands, Raven reached for the knives stationed in her boot sheaths but paused as they saw who had invaded their cocoon. Coach Hernandez propped said door open to plop onto the bleacher in front of the teens.

“I didn’t see your family at the game tonight,” Hernandez said.

"They’re out of town,” Raven said lazily, she lied almost as good as Neil if not better.

“Still or Again?” Hernandez said as he quirked a graying bushy brow at them.

Neither, but not Neil nor Raven could reveal any of this to their coach, the sorry excuse had been well expired and they’re teachers and Coach were tired of the recycled lie, but it explained why the Jostens weren't ever in town, it also made it ten times easier to say Raven was his cousin that had moved in with Jostens due to the death of her family two years ago, the silly excuse of a lie also covered up the blaring fact that they were both eighteen.

Not to mention that Millport Arizona was basically where the half-dead retired until they were actually dead. No one asked questions since everybody knew everybody, and it made for a sublime place to hear who came in and out. Which worked out for both Raven and Neil to get them the hell out of dodge in case his father decided to cash in his threats of death and torture to both of them.

Suddenly Hernandez reached out for both of their cigarettes signally with a quick flick of his fingers to hand them over. Raven being the arrogant hard ass that she is, ignored his hand entirely, choosing to grind out the stub completely on the heel of her rubber boots but not before she took an obnoxiously long drag of the burning stick. Neil obediently handed his over and watched as Hernandez crushed it beneath his sneaker, which clanged obnoxiously on the metal bleacher before he tossed the destroyed bud aside completely.

“I thought they would at least make the exception tonight,” He said.

“No one knew it’d be the last game,” Neil says, looking over at the court.

Raven snorted beside Neil, they both knew it was a lie. Millport’s loss was a sting but not an unexpected one, it had booted them from state championships two games away from finals, again it was not a surprise, the dingos were a terrible team. They barely kept up their winning streak because of Neil and Raven alone, but the missed possibility still clawed him raw. Now the Exy court would become the Soccer court again, leaving their deplorable season on a makeshift court meaningless.

“We’ll call them later with the score,” Raven said because Hernandez was silently waiting for an answer and Neil wasn’t going to answer anytime soon, “They didn’t miss much,” she finished off.

“Not yet, maybe,” Hernandez said, “There’s someone here to see you two.”

Those seven words were all it took for both of their hearts to seize in their chests, and have them scrambling for the duffles beneath their feet and up off the bleachers towards the nearest exit.

A scuff behind them revealed that they were indeed too late to escape whatever foe was waiting for them at their backs. When they finally turned around, they were met with a beast of a man, adorned in a stark white wife beater and tribal tattoos encroached in flames on both biceps. One hand was concealed within his jeans pocket and the other was holding two suspicious vanilla-colored folders, Neil noted that his stance was casual but his mahogany eyes had a look of intent that was purely predatory.

Neither Neil nor Raven recognized him, not likely to be one of his father's men then, it was unlikely that his father would send anyone else but Lola and her brother to the task. And with 900 residents in Millport, he definitely wasn’t the sort Neil or Raven would forget about. He looked over at Raven to confirm, brows furrowed, she shook her head slightly.

“We don’t know you,” Neil said.

“He’s from a university,” Hernandez said. throwing it into the tense silence. “He came to see you both play tonight.”

“Bullshit,” Raven seethes, “No one recruits from Millport. No one knows where it even is.”

“There’s this thing, y’ know called a map?” The man finally spoke up, his tone cocky and filled with sarcasm. “You might have heard of it, a large piece of paper that has a huge cult following for helping navigate the world, and it's oceans. If that doesn't ring any bells, ever heard of GPS?”

Hernandez sends both Neil and Raven a reproaching look, while Raven gazes back with nothing but contempt for the men in front of them.

Hernandez gets to his feet, “He’s here because I sent him your file. He put out a note saying he was short on his striker line, and I figured it was worth a shot. I didn’t tell you two because I didn’t know if anything would come of it and I didn’t want to get your hopes up.”

“You did what?” Raven asked, a storm raging within her striking features. To anyone else that didn't know her, she would have looked angered but to Neil, he could still see the faintest undertones of fear and meager hope within her expression of fury.

“I tried contacting your parents/guardians when he asked for a face-to-face tonight, but they haven’t returned any of my messages. You two said they would try to make it tonight.”

“They did,” Neil Finally said voice even, “And clearly they couldn't,”

“I can't wait for them,” Tribal tattoos said, clomping down the steps to stand beside Hernandez.

“It’s incredibly late in the season, I know that but I had some technical difficulties with my last striker sub and it was pure luck that I had come across you two. Your coach says you guys don’t finish till fall, works out just peachy, doesn’t it? I need both of you on my line and you need a team. All you have to do is sign here, and are mine for five years.”

Neil’s throat felt as if it had been stuffed full of cobwebs, he cleared his throat a few times, “You can’t be serious.”

“Very serious, and very out of time.” The man said dearly grave.

He tossed the folders onto the bleacher nearest to them, a lifeline dangled in front of people holding onto the thinnest of threads-a future, a promise of something besides surviving. Neil and Raven both knew they couldn’t take it, but the desire to have a chance out nearly sucker-punched them both nearly in half. They both knew in five weeks time when they graduated they’d be long gone, Raven Lirette and Neil Josten would be no more. Nothing besides two slight smudges in a hopelessly messy abstract painting that would soon be lost to the oblivion.

Neil should have gotten used to this, the bottomless pit of disappointment, and the ever-present reminder that his father could still torture him without even being there to touch a blade to his skin. Raven and Neil had twenty-two past lives each to themselves, but Neil Josten felt all too real for the short period of time that he was playing him. It was the same for Raven, Neil could tell by the way her brown eyes never strayed away from the folders, as if by her own sheer force of will she could be able to hold onto this fable and make it into a reality worth living.

They both knew what it would cost, remaining still and stable; signing this contract was essentially signing their deaths. And a voice in the back of his head that could not be silenced whispered, _What about mother? We ran and ran and they still got her, you know it’s death either way Abram_.

Neil turned to his companion, and she shook her head, even though the glint in her brown eyes revealed she was thinking the same thing-had the same voice in her head. His father was in prison, but his father’s henchman weren't, the risk was too high for Raven and Neil, and they both knew they were pulling at strings that would inevitably be cut.

“I hate to disappoint, but it's going to be a hard pass for both of us,” Raven said, her tone leaving no room for negotiation.

“I know it’s a bit sudden, but I have to have an answer by tonight, the committees been on my ass since Janie got committed.”

Neil and Raven’s eyes snapped up to meet the man’s, all the while Neil's stomach dropped to his toes and pooled at his feet.

“The foxes?” Neil said incredulously, the realization twisting a knife within his ribcage. “Palmetto State University.”

Tribal tattoo’s- Coach David Wymack, looked taken aback at how quickly Neil had figured it out; it wasn’t a coincidence that he didn’t outright say he was here to recruit them to the lowest-ranked team in Class I Exy, The Palmetto State Foxes.

“I guess you must have heard about the unfortunate turn of events.”

“That's a fucking understatement, every college news channel has been broadcasting the story since it happened. You'd either have to be living underneath a rock or not give a singular flying fuck about Exy to not have heard about it. And if I recall correctly-Neil correct me if I'm wrong-you explained it as 'Technical difficulties', Huh." Raven spit out viciously. “There's a strong difference between a minor inconvenience and your striker sub slitting her wrists because she was trying to kill herself.”

The Foxhole Court was known for the fractured isolationists who couldn’t move past their egotism to actually win a game. They were notorious in the NCAA for not only how small and meager the team was in numbers but the fact that they barely scraped by to hold their Class I ranking. Coach David wymack was a sort of savior figure to these players, offering a ticket out of whatever hell hole they had been stuck in. They were widely mocked within the world of collegiate Exy and as Wymack had put it, the committee was tired of his shit.

Then to top it all off, former national champion Kevin Day, recently joined the line. It was the best thing for foxes in-ever and that meant he and Raven were absolutely not signing with them. Raven caught and held his gaze and nodded towards the side exit, they both knew now without a shadow of a doubt this was a door they absolutely did not want to open.

“You shouldn't have come here,” Neil said.

“Yet here I stand.” Wymack said, “Need a pen?”

“No,” Raven said voice all-steel, “We’re not playing for you.”

“I mishear you.”

“You signed Kevin,” Neil says.

“And Kevin is signing you both-“

Raven and Neil did not wait to hear the rest.  
They bolted towards the locker room, ignoring both coaches surprised sputters, and continued down towards the exit, metal clanged loudly beneath Neil’s ratty sneakers and Raven’s black boots. All that mattered was getting the hell away from the empty promises, Coach Hernandez and his hopeful and worried glances and forget everything besides running until the disappointments and missed opportunities felt like a dull hum of background noise.

Raven was in front of him, and she was halfway through the locker room when a loud curse echoed through the cement hallway.

Someone was waiting for them, and from what Neil could hear Raven had anticipated the hit right before it hit her, and he watched as her hand grabbed onto what looked like a base of an old racquet. Neil could see that her hand was shaking from the pure force and strength that the hit would have released if she had not caught it. Neil made to move around his companion to see the assailant for himself but her grip on his arm remained firm. 

“Fuck off.” He heard Raven grit between her teeth, and just then Wymack burst into the muggy cement changing room.

“Goddammit, Minyard! This is why we can’t have nice things.”

“Oh, Coach!” someone said in front of Raven, “If they were all pure and holy we wouldn't have any interest in them at all. If anything a Christian college full of bible thumpers somewhere in the south would have recruited them by now. Now that I think about it, the current Renee would fit right in. Right, coach?”

“Andrew, I have zero tolerance for your shit right now. I brought you along not because I wanted to but because I needed to. You can't break the new recruits before they've even been recruited."

“Aw Coach, I'm wounded. Besides, you're acting as if I wanted to acquaint myself any further with you then already needed. Before you begin to bald any further, you shouldn't fret. This one's feisty.”

Neil had finally had enough, he stepped around Raven to reveal, her and a blonde midget in a tug-of-war match with a racquet. Said blonde midget suddenly let go of the racquet entirely making Raven stumble only the slightest bit. Neil still reached out a hand to steady her anyhow but was quickly brushed off and paired alongside a glare that Neil only shook his head at in return.

The midget turned towards Neil, who wore a sickeningly blinding white grin on his face that made Neil’s stomach turn. Andrew Minyard, goalkeeper for the Palmetto State Foxes and a national threat to society. Neil could tell by the way Andrew bounced on the balls of his feet and the way his eyes never remained focused and set on one particular thing that he was probably high as kite currently.

Raven moved to stand next to him, seeming to silently will themselves out of the cramped space by sheer hope alone. Neil watched as Andrew's manic smile seemed to stretch out even more.

“To be continued, I suppose,” Andrew said with an awful glint in his eyes as he regarded Raven with contempt, and with a flourish, he then brought two fingers to his temple in a mock salute.

“Whose fucking racquet did you steal?” Raven seethe.

“Borrow.” Andrew said turning his gaze back towards Neil, “Funny. Seems as though your raven is also your bodyguard. How hilariously ironic.”

“Neil, Raven. Are you alright?” Coach Hernandez said, him catching up to them and standing next to Wymack.

“Just wonderful Coach," Raven said, sarcastically. "How about you try almost getting your sternum knocked out of your body whilst trying to make an exit that is completely warranted since a certain _someone_ decided to bombard their players with an _un_warranted visit from someone who houses national threats on their team. Does that sound alright to you Coach?" 

Neil watched as Wymack’s gaze darkened a bit on Andrew, but he clearly held back against what he really wanted to say,

“Andrew’s a bit raw on manners,” Wymack said coming around to stand in between the blond-haired goalie and the two teens. Andrew apparently was able to read clear warnings in his drugged state of mind, he backed away with his hands upturned and backed away to give them space.

“Did he break anything?” Wymack said, looking at Raven.

“Nope,” Raven said looking straight at the exit.

“We’re fine and we’re leaving, let us go,” Neil said.

“We’re not done,” Wymack said.

“We are and we don’t care.” Raven chimes in.

“Coach Wymack-“ Hernandez starts, warning evident in his voice.

“Just give us a moment, will ya?” Wymack said.

“I’ll be out back,” Hernandez said, Looking from Neil to Raven. They both nod knowing they won’t be needing him.  
They waited for the steps to recede into the night, the rattle as the door was unhinged from where it was propped, squealed shut, and then clicked.

“We already told you, we are not playing for you or your makeshift team of-” Raven said.

“You don’t know the whole entire offer,” Wymack said, interrupting Raven's firm refusal. “If I paid to have three people flown out to bumfuck Arizona, the least you could do is give me five minutes of your time.”

Neil felt a little sick with dread as he realized what was going on once more. Raven clasped onto his forearm centering him here with her before the panic could seize his body and threaten to swallow him whole. He should have put it all together once he realized Andrew was here.

“You brought him here?” Neil said, numb.

Wymack stares hard at them, clearly confused; “Is that a problem?” He said.

“We’re not good enough to play alongside a champion.” Raven lied haphazardly, everyone who was in the room already knew that they were, otherwise they wouldn't be this interested if they weren't.

A scoff was heard somewhere behind them, “Partly true, but irrelevant.”

Raven was stock-still at his side, and Neil’s heart was basically beating in his throat at this point. They turned around at this same time, their bodies supposedly fluid and in sync with the other.

Kevin Day was centered in the middle of the entertainment console behind them, and he was haloed by papers that were scattered casually around him, apparently watching the whole debacle unfurl in front of him. Judging by the cool measured look he sent Raven and Neil, he was wholly unimpressed with what he was seeing.

Neil and Raven had not seen Kevin since that brutal day at Evermore ten years ago. When they had seen his father and Lola brutally torture and slice a man into bloody ribbons, and by that time both Neil and Raven had been so desensitized to the gore of their families occupation it was almost as if nothing had happened at all, just a never terrible thing that happened once again. For them, it was normal to see someone tortured to the brink of death, but he’ll never forget the sheer terror on Kevin’s face as he regarded him and Raven after it was over.

It was as though Kevin had not changed, as though they had just taken child Kevin and stretched out his body to be an adult. He had the same dark almost black hair, same emerald green eyes; and when Neil’s gaze snagged onto that damn tattoo, he swore he stopped breathing, he wanted to retch until he was numb.

A memory suddenly resurfaced upon seeing the mark, tiny Kevin putting a black sharpie to his small rounded face that was taken up by the sheer size of his huge green eyes, and traced a two on a chubby cheekbone that he retraced when the former had faded, telling Neil and Raven that they would make court someday with him and Riko, #1,#2,#3, and #4. It had been a mantra that they had recited religiously, a prayer for greatness that had only been answered for two out of the four.

Kevin and Riko reached the stars; while Raven and Neil were dunked into the trenches of the deepest pits of the ocean floor, fighting for any patch of air that could be found in order to avoid completely drowning. For them, their need to play Exy was their oxygen.

Neil wanted to bolt, to run until he could no longer stand. He looked over at Raven and could tell she was itching to do the same, her hands twitched towards the knives that were hidden within her boots.  
Neil knew Kevin could not recognize them, at this point Raven and Neil had to be unrecognizable, they both were concealed with hair dye and dark contacts; so why was _the_ Kevin Day in a backwater retirement town in bumfuck Arizona? Had he and Raven fucked up somehow, fucked up besides playing Exy at all that is.

“What are you doing here?” Neil asked.

“Why are you leaving?” Kevin rebutted.

"He asked you first,” Raven stated.

Kevin’s eyes flicked over to her impassively, but Neil saw a spark of something Neil couldn’t name, so he forced himself to pay attention to it.

“Coach already answered that question for you,” Kevin said annoyingly impatient, his eyes flicked back over to Raven’s for a second before turning back to Neil’s scrutinizing gaze,

“We are waiting for you two to sign the contract, Stop wasting all of our time.”

“Nope,” Raven said with an annoying emphasis on the P, “There are a thousand other strikers in the U.S. that would love to play for the great Kevin Day.” She said mockingly.

“Why don’t you bother them?” Neil added. Kevin’s face flushed slightly, he huffed and Wymack chimed in before Kevin could undoubtedly unleash his wrath.

“We saw their files,” Wymack said, “We chose you two.”

“We won’t play with Kevin,” Neil said.

“You will.” Kevin huffed.

Wymack shrugged his shoulders at Neil. “Maybe you noticed but we are not leaving until you guys say yes. Kevin says we have to have you two, and he’s right.”

"Your coach did us the courtesy of sending us your recommendation letters. Both of your stats were impressive enough to be considered but still subpar enough for us to have our doubts on whether or not we should've recruited you."

“Lucky for you two he also sent us a tape from one your past games, you two play with a skill that while not entirely unexpected still needs some fine-tuning and I think with a lot of practice we could actually turn you into something that is presentable on our court. You both play like you have your lives on the line.”

Raven is stock still and silent;

“So that’s why?” Neil asked.

“What else would you want in a striker?” Kevin said.

Relief hit both Neil and Raven like a freight train, this was all just a sick twisted coincidence, the universe was a cruel and demented thing. This was a sign, a sign to not stay in one place too long, an example of what could happen for the still and non-runners, what would happen if it was Lola next time? Or even worse, his father himself? They couldn’t take that chance, this should be an easy choice, to listen to his instincts and his dead mother's dying wishes, but a big part of Neil wanted this so badly he ached with the need to say yes.

“This works out for the better anyway, No one besides your coach knows that we are here to recruit you guys,” Wymack explained, “That way the ERC won’t be on your guy’s ass with news spreads and interviews until the semester starts in late August.”

“We didn’t say yes,” Raven said.

“But I have a feeling that you're going too,” Wymack stated matter of factly.  
Neil turned toward Raven fully,

“This is not a good idea,” Neil said.

Raven ignored him completely, “If we sign we will get complete anonymity until the semester? As well as housing?” Raven asked.

Wymack nods his head, “You can’t move into the dorms until June 13th when the rest of the foxes get there. But yes to both, to answer your questions.”

“Five years?” She asked again.

Wymack nodded.

“We need a pen then,” Raven said, an air of finality was clear in her voice. Cutting a look to Neil that dared him to speak up, her gaze was piercing enough to get the message, we would be absolute idiots to turn this down.

Neil nodded, suddenly feeling a sick mixture of anger, relief, and excitement all at once. It made him want to gag.

Wymack gives them a wide grin, incredibly pleased; Neil nor Raven looked at Kevin again, now that their panic had subsided they didn’t care or want to have anything to do with him besides Exy.

Wymack pulls out the envelopes and gives them their respective pens; then Neil Josten and Raven Lirette are forever inscribed into a legally binding contract and are officially Palmetto Foxes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More insight on Neil and Raven’s relationship, and just how deeply bonded they are.
> 
> Minor trigger warning:  
Very very vague mention of blood, and a panic attack that is also pretty minor.

••••

“Go wait in the car, I’ll be there in a minute,” Wymack said, directing his gaze towards his older foxes; they bypass Neil and Raven without another word, but not before Andrew flashes them a huge manic grin from over his broad, black clad shoulder. Neil and Raven share a look that spoke volumes, he’s going to be a problem; Their eyes seemed to communicate.

Raven turned her gaze towards Wymack, who had just finished organizing their contracts into their respective vanilla colored folders;  
“What do you want to talk to us about?” Neil asked, He was beginning to get restless; Raven could tell by the way Neil’s hands twitched at his sides before stuffing them in his jeans front pockets. 

“Do you need one of us to talk to your parents/guardians?” Wymack asked.  
“We’re eighteen and we’ve already signed.” Raven said, skeptical.  
“The only reason why I’m even asking is because your Coach suspects you guys spend several nights a week here, says you wait till everyone’s gone to change out; that's the main reason why he nominated you for my line; said you fit the bill.”  
“Something tells me he’s onto something,” he said, “Either way the locker rooms are going to be shut down when the school year ends, so I need to know if your folks are going to be a problem. If so, you two can come to South Carolina early.” 

“You’ll do what?” Neil asked incredibly shaken. Surprise gave an unwanted opponent the upper hand; Raven tried desperately to find any semblance of even footing with the older man and beneath that mind numbing need for control, was utter confusion.  
“Why?” She asked, nerves ricochet-ing against her bones and she was just genuinely perpexled.  
“Why would I offer? Because it’s clear to me that you need help, and as your new coach I am offering it.” He said simply, his brown eyes tracking the disbelieving look the two teens shared between themselves, “Without wanting anything else in return, except for your cooperation on the court.” He added.

Raven thought back to the two story abandoned house they had been squatting in for the past 9 months; The creaky floors and the below freezing temperatures that snuck into the night, not to mention the awful smell of urine that wafted all throughout the small space; causing Neil and Raven to sleep in the stuffy semi cold locker room until they left Millport behind for good; staying in that squatter house was not an option. Raven looked over at Neil until he caught her gaze, she found him beginning to shake his head then paused as she raised an espresso brow at him; he then suddenly shuddered at the thought of staying in the piss fragrant hovel over the summer. 

“So are they going to be a problem?” Wymack asked at last, causing them both to snap out of their reveries. Without saying another word, Raven and Neil bobbed their heads to signal their agreement; Raven watched their new coach’s mahogany eyes grow a shade darker, Raven realized with a start that he was tired, and extremely so it seemed.

“Your graduation ceremony is on May eleventh, according to Hernandez,” Wymack said at length. “Well have someone pick you two up the following day on the twelfth.”  
Wymack dealing with the people that he deals with did not expect nor want any misplaced “thank you’s” that was based solely on common human decency, he collected the vanilla file folders containing their new future and without a backward glance headed out the side exit door; most likely set out to find Hernandez.

Neil and Raven waited for the metallic click of the automatic door, the pad of heavy footfalls quickly amble towards Hernandez’s office, and then Neil practically bolted into the tiled restrooms that were diagonally adjacent to where their surprise meeting had taken place.

Raven followed him but walked slowly; giving Neil time for the worst of the dry heaving to decrease, “Neil?” Raven called out softly, almost soothing as she ushered the tones out of her throat; Raven supposed they had a regulated routine that they had grown accustomed to over the years, suddenly Raven evoked a memory that had taken place similarly like this very instance. The metallic tang of blood that filled her nostrils and the sticky, almost gummy feel to the crimson that was embedded onto the pads of her palms and beds of her fingernails- Raven quickly snapped herself out of her dark reverie focusing instead on the sticky heat of the locker room restroom and focused on her calming her quickened exhales until they were still and even once more.

“Neil?” She called out again, speaking possibly even softer then the first time, she found him in a tight coil in the very first stall, gripping the porcelain base of the toilet so tightly that his knuckles began to take to a bone white shade, the contrast stark against his golden skin. Her eyes traveled up to the sweat lined collar of his black t-shirt all the way up to his unruly black curls that bounced as he bobbed his head, taking her call as a silent yes or no, a confirmation to a question that asked if he wanted her to touch him in a state as vulnerable as this one.

She massaged the base of his spine all the way up to the middle of his shoulder blades, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Neil choked out between wet hiccuping gulps, she massaged slightly harder; trying to get him out of the dark dungeon that was his mind and back into a slightly brighter reality where Raven was. Eventually she told him to match his giant gulps of air to her gentle repetitive exhales; they didn’t stop until his breathing had returned to normal. Sitting there slowly binding Neil back together made Raven realize, more sure than ever before, that their choice to sign with the Palmetto Foxes was the best one, not only for Neil’s best general interest but for his life’s well being as-well.

They sat there for another small moment before finally getting up and stretching their coiled and locked joints. Neil, now more calm and settled looked at her for the first time since signing over the next 5 years of their life, clearly shaken at her decision; he tried to speak but Raven made him rinse out his mouth and wash his hands before even speaking in her general direction. 

“Do you think we made the right choice?” Neil said in French. His words came out as a quip and not a question.  
“Yeah I do,” Raven told Neil honestly, switching into the language flawlessly. It was clear to Raven that this decision was the only decision, it was unclear to Raven how Neil saw the situation, but she expected she was about to find out.

“You said that we run, and never stop; the day mom died, that’s what you said.” His tone was extremely accusatory, and frankly Raven didn’t like being blamed for something that had Neil’s best interest in mind, her anger was quickly bubbling to the surface, so she turned out of the gray tiled restroom and back out into the main locker room, picking up her duffle that was discarded on the concrete floor; unzipped the bag and plucked out a cigarette and metal lighter, lighting up she asked,  
“What else would we have done, hm? Run until we ended up like Mary?” Her tone was dreadfully quiet, almost deadly in a sense. She saw Neil’s golden face pale but then flush hotly, Raven was not going to take back what she said no matter how hard the truth was for Neil, they lied so much and faked so much that she had made them promise to never lie to each other.

“The life that we are living; isn’t even living, we are surviving, do you really expect us to live past 19 at this rate?” She continued, the cherry of her cigarette glowing hot red, around her angry words.  
“What happens when we get caught, when we actually have something to lose; we just got this and I already don't want to lose it.” Neil spoke as though words had physically assaulted him.  
“Then we figure another out another way, if it comes down to that.” Raven said, watching silently as Neil stomped his way over to his own duffel, flinging it over his shoulder with such force that it bounced against his shoulder blade for a moment; apparently the duffle had assaulted him as well; Raven concluded sarcastically.  
“Not if, WHEN it comes down to that; not maybe, WHEN it comes down to it.” He says spitefully, glancing his contact cloaked eyes Raven’s way, she watches as he stomps his way towards the exit.

“Do you trust me?” Raven asked, anger suddenly on hold. She hated how small and meager her voice sounded; how vulnerable it rang out into her own ear drums. She watched Neil freeze mid-step, hand on the door handle, and she observed him turn slowly, his expression incredibly stricken.  
“With my life.” He said, voice cracking ever so lightly, Raven walks until they are face to face, toe to toe.  
“So you must realize that we have both made a promise and neither of us are going to break it?” She whispered, voice a hair's breadth above audible, but she knows Neil hears it, the message behind her words and the event that lay within that promise.

Small hands clasped tightly together, and even smaller bodies clad only in pajamas and sneakered feet pressed even closer, the leather backseat, their haven against the horrors of the outside; and their adolescent whispered promises, remained whispered promises even in adulthood.

Raven held out her hand, palm up in silent question; Neil’s hand pressed into hers without hesitation, he looked up into Raven’s eyes,  
“We do this together.” Neil whispered almost inaudible, but Raven nods jerkily anyways; relief and quiet affection washes over her; sizzling out the previous anger. They stand like that, hand in hand for another moment; gathering strength from the other’s presence alone, then break apart and step out into the night. 

When Raven and Neil step out of the locker room they are greeted with both of their coaches, both old and new, all Wymack gives the two teens is a raise of a bushy dark brow, while Hernandez looks bewildered and perplexed, Raven would truly not miss him. Raven and Neil say nothing as they bypass them, headed towards the parking lot, by now the lot is deserted; all except for one car. 

Hernandez’s midnight black SUV sits idling by, apparently waiting to give them a ride. Suddenly a blonde head that belongs to the one and only, Andrew Minyard pops out of the tinted stained glass, he gives them both a knowing and taunting grin that practically dripped with malice.  
“Ahhh too good to play with us, but too good to ride with us?” He inquired mockingly; both Neil and Raven flip him off as they continue walking by, but they see a glint of interest in his hazel eyes before completely leaving Andrew’s view. Andrew’s manic cackle follows them up the drive, He was going to be a problem indeed, Raven thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning on posting this yesterday evening, but upon a fuck up on my phone’s part it deleted the FULL CHAPTER! Not only did I have to rewrite it but I had to do it from scratch. a good thing came from the bad I suppose and I think I rewrote the chapter a lot better then my first attempt at it.  
(Ok uhhh rant over, I really appreciated your guys’ feedback! It really does mean the most to me so I hope you enjoy! ;3)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil and Raven meet the monsters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So I’m sorry for posting so late, but school and my mental health have been crazy rn! So just expect sporadic updating times, but I have not given up on the fic yet! So don’t worry :)
> 
> WARNINGS: there is none ;)
> 
> (Sidenote: is the story okay? Is my writing good? Idek anymore.)

••••

“Flight fourteen for take off at terminal three, flight fourteen for take off at terminal three.”

Neil’s pulse was beating erratically, his hands twitched and clasped onto each other in his lap, his breaths coming out slightly labored; Raven and Neil were seated in front of a sign that read Arrivals, they had landed in the Upstate Regional Airport only moments ago; and Neil was not faring well; anxiety was in full bloom in the underbelly of his abdomen; his thoughts a jumble of useless chatter, an annoyance that voiced doubt about the very conclusion that kept the slow burn of Neil’s hope aflame, after all of these years.

Raven, somehow notified of Neil’s thoughts turning sour, looped her arm through his, clasping his twitching palm with one hand, then continued to reach over with her other free hand to twist her long chestnut curls into Neil’s lap. Neil didn’t even glance her way; just continued to loop his fingers through the burnished coils of her hair. 

Raven pretended to be as unbothered as ever, slightly humming a song that was particularly popular on the radio, but if you knew where to look, you could tell by the slight downturn of her full lips that she was just as agitated as Neil was. 

“What time did they say they would pick us up?” Neil asked, patience wearing thin.  
“Around this time.” Raven deadpanned.  
Her response was lost to deaf ears, just then through the crowd Neil spotted a familiar speck of pale blonde hair amongst the many people rushing through the airports front entrance. Raven, spotting Neil’s line of sight, stood to collect their duffles as they wove through the masses and towards their chaperone. 

Neil regarded the cool and distant expression that the face of their new teammate wore, If Neil had to guess it was the “boring” Minyard twin; Aaron. Neil had always been short-or, vertically challenged, as Raven liked to say; but standing next to Aaron Neil had at least 5 inches on him, and Raven being the five foot ten beanstalk that she was, practically towered over the two; Aaron was currently dressed head to toe in all black, long sleeves adorning his arms that were currently bunched up in his palms, as if he were cold even though it was the beginning of summer and South Carolina was practically an oven, Neil felt incredibly scorched just by looking at him.  
“Raven, Neil.” Aaron said in lieu of hello, “Baggage claim?”  
“Nope, This is it.” Raven said, hauling both duffles over her shoulders,  
Aaron swiftly turned away, not questioning a single thing.  
They stepped out of the haven of air conditioning and into the sticky heat of a muggy afternoon; A small crowd was waiting at the crosswalk for the light to turn; instead of waiting like the rest of them, Aaron jostled through them; not caring about the impertinent glares sent their way. The midget continued to walk through oncoming traffic, taking no notice of the sunny yellow cab as it screeched to a halt mere inches from his bean sized body, Aaron in turn apparently more interested in lighting the cancer stick between his teeth then the likes of his narrowly avoided death. The midget in question disregarded the crude words that spilled out harshly from the several cabbies’ mouths who have taken the liberty of rolling their windows down to lour at the trio. Neil waved to state their apologies towards the angry cabs men, whilst Raven disregarded them entirely, choosing to keep pace with Aaron. Neil practically jogged in his haste to keep up with the pair. 

They arrive in front of a sleek black car, Neil personally didn’t know much about cars; he only knew that they were a necessity on the run and that any car that wasn’t too flashy was the one to go with, and Neil knew Raven only cared enough to look at the make and model due to habit.  
“Bags in the trunk.” Aaron said through the side of his mouth, the other side currently occupied by a cigarette; Aaron sat, body contorted half out of the car as he cupped the cigarette to his face.  
Raven obediently through the duffles into the trunk, she motioned for him to climb into the front of the car while she moved into the backseat, deliberately sitting in the middle; having a clear view of their teammate and Neil respectively. 

They didn’t leave until Aaron had sucked down half of the cigarette, Neil watched as he flicked the butt of the stick onto the concrete, stomped it out, then climbed his way into the driver's seat, but not before shoving the pack into his jeans pocket; he slammed the car door shut with an impatient huff. As Aaron was turning the key into the ignition, he turned to Neil and gave him a smile that was reminiscent of his twin’s, it was only a slight curl of the lips but Neil wanted to scrub it off of his face immediately anyhow.

“Neil Josten,” Aaron said, turning the drivers mirror until it reflected Raven’s cool brown eyes gazing directly at Aaron, “Raven Lirrette! Here for the summer, Hm?” His voice reflected a false conversational tone; as if he could care less but was only asking because it was something to be done; the alternative instead being, to say nothing at all. Neil’s skin crawled at they way he said their names, as if he was breaking them in to see if they fit the person that owned them.  
“Yes.” Raven deadpanned, they were in a staring contest of sorts.  
Aaron broke eye contact first, busying himself by fiddling with the air conditioning nozzle, turning it up full blast.  
“That makes five of us but rumor has it you're staying with Coach.” 

Raven and Neil were aware of the other teammates staying in town only because Wymack had warned them beforehand, Nicholas, Andrew, Aaron and the team nurse Abigail Winfield. Who was the fifth person? Looking in the rear view mirror, Neil could tell Raven was just as disoriented as he was.  
A feeling of pure dread pooled at his feet.  
“Kevin stays on campus?” Raven asked, as nonchalant as Neil thought she could manage.  
Neil had come to South Carolina for the summer expecting to be able to at least breathe without the memories of that day at Evermore forever breathing down his and Raven’s necks but it looked as though the universe had different plans; it always did.  
“Mhm. Wherever the court is, Kevin will surely be.” Aaron said. “He seemingly cannot live without stickball.”  
“I didn’t think it was the court Kevin was staying for.” Neil said.  
They had reached the parking lot exit, Aaron already had cash in hand and gave it to the clerk without even a glance; in no time they were peeling out of the lot exit seemingly at high speed. Neil watched from the rearview mirror as Raven frowned deeply, then tightened her seat belt, her eyes never leaving the blonde in front. Neil thought he would like to see tomorrow and not fly out of the crystalline windshield, so he did the same.  
“So a little birdy told me you two didn’t hit it off with Kevin last month?” Aaron said, tone mock conversational.  
“We weren’t expecting him to be there,”  
Neil said, watching the greens and earthy hues of the scenery outside fly by.  
“Forgive our uncouth reactions?” He finished.  
Neil didn’t feel at all inclined in small talk, but it seemed that Aaron did not notice or simply did not care; Neil suspected it was the latter.  
Aaron scoffed disbelieving,  
“Perhaps I will not; I don’t particularly partake in forgiveness, and I don’t think I’ll start now; and it wasn’t me who you offended, that was the second time a recruit has told the “Kevin Day” to fuck off. I don’t think his arrogance nor his pride can handle anymore damage.” Aaron said.  
“I’m sure Andrew had reason to refuse, just like we had in the beginning.” Raven chimed in.  
“You said you were good enough, too good to play with the foxes, but look who’s here.” Aaron deadpanned, eyes connecting with Raven’s in the driver's mirror.  
It was silent for awhile, at least until Aaron pulled at the wheel, pulling into the next lane without bothering to even glance behind his shoulder to see if they were in the clear; loud car horns blared as they sped off.  
“It’s too nice of a car wreck.” Neil said pointedly.  
“Your with the foxes! Don’t be too afraid to die.” Aaron said as the car glided between lanes then up an exit ramp. “If you are...you have no place on our court.”  
“We’re talking about a sport, not a death match.” Raven said, leaning into the space in between the driver's seat and the passenger seat.  
“Same difference, your on a class I Exy team with Kevin on our line, people are always willing to break their backs for him. You’ve seen the news I presume?” Face a calm mask even as he sped up fast enough to knock Raven back into her seat.

Anyways, Neil had, he had made Raven sit through almost all of the news coverage on the incident, the food in the greasy roadside diner somewhere in Nevada, had gotten cold and congealed; but all Neil recalled was the sick, icy hot dread that had filled his whole entire body. Kevin had lost what Neil desperately wanted, it was almost a given that Neil or Raven had no future past age twenty, at the most. Neil had thought if anyone should had made court out of the three of them, it would have been Kevin. 

Last December, the sons of Exy had vanished from the public eye for months, not showing up for meetings or conferences and even worse, when neither of them were on the starting line when championships started up in january, fans were “thrown” into a chaotic frenzy, it wasn’t until the coach of the ravens, Tetsuji Moriyama, addressed the ordeal directly during a press conference, and the news and media went absolutely ballistic, it was a crushing and fatal blow to Exy fans everywhere, Testsuji had revealed that Kevin Day had broken his playing hand during a skiing trip.

According to testsuji, Kevin and Riko we’re ashamed to face their team and fans due to the “devastation of this time.”  
To everyone’s bewilderment and surprise, coach Wymack of the Palmetto State Foxes, came out with a statement the next day, explaining that Kevin Day was recuperating in South Carolina. 

Finding out that your favorite average Exy player’s career was potentially ruined due to a fatal injury, was one thing; but finding out that Kevin Day, your favorite Exy player had left the ravens due to a fatal injury, was a total and utter apocalyptic level ordeal for the ravens’ obsessive fans. They had felt as though due to everything that the ravens had done for Kevin, that he should be relegated to the sidelines as an assistant coach, then he could at least aid his former team. It was a slap in the face to the ravens’ fans to discover that Kevin day planned to act as assistant coach to the Palmetto State Foxes and not the ravens. They kicked back from the shock and immediately assumed that he would return to his home team in March-when he was fully recovered, except that in March, Kevin Day was signed to the foxes as starting striker and not as coach. 

The fans went from feeling heart wrenching loss to red eyed rage in what seemed like overnight, and Palmetto State had taken several hits ever since. The university and stadium had been vandalized so many times, that there was day and night and security all over the campus. And it would only get worse when the season started, and everyone found Kevin Day in white and orange instead of black and red. 

The drive from the airport to Wymacks was short and not as tedious as Neil expected it to be, at this point his anxiety was leveling off, but then Neil thought about seeing Kevin once again and anxiety side kicked his heart right into his throat. The lot of the apartment was fairly barren, except for three figures that were directly facing the complex set of apartments. Aaron was the first to hop out, and Neil a moment later after he checked back and saw Raven getting out to collect their duffles. Neil watched as Aaron backhandedly unlocked the trunk with a metallic click from the key ring and continued waltzing up the drive to meet his family. Neil waited for Raven to slam the trunk, and hand him his duffle before going into the lion's den (or parking lot?).

Neil and Raven walked side by side until they were in front of their four teammates, Kevin and the twins were side by side while their cousin, Nicholas Hemmick, stepped forward and held out an tan skinned hand out to Neil and Raven,  
“Hi! I’m Nicky, the twins’ cousin and backliner extravaganza!” Nicky said.  
Behind Nicky, Neil heard Aaron mutter, “I don’t even think that’s a grammatically correct sentence.” 

Nicky clearly ignoring Aaron’s snide remark, decided to focus on Raven and Neil again, giving them a sloppy toothed grin in reproach.  
“Raven.” Raven said pointedly, holding out a hand. Raven had never faired well with small talk, she was painfully blunt and straightforward, especially towards people she wasn’t accustomed to (which was seemed to be everyone).

Nicky took Raven’s directness in stride, grasping her hand excitedly, “Wow! You are really pretty, Aaron don’t you think Raven’s pretty?” Nicky said, cutting a sly grin towards Aaron, who in turn blushed furiously and had that same weird intensity in his hazel eyes that Neil could not name, Neil remembered Kevin having a similar reaction.  
Aaron did not reply, instead took to staring at his black combat boots with a focus only a person who was pointedly avoiding something could possess. Andrew scoffed beside him. 

Neil was rather tired of the tension in the air, so he held out his hand for Nicky to shake  
“Neil.” He said, just as pointedly as Raven, he couldn’t say they were exactly well versed in the act of having appropriate social skills.  
“Neil! Raven! Have a nice flight?” Nicky asked.  
Neil noticed that Nicky gestured while he talked, overly enthusiastic in a way.  
“It was fine.” Raven replied. Neil noticed she gripped her duffle strap a little tighter.  
“Great! So this is Coach Wymack’s apartment,” Nicky pointed out obviously, “He wanted to personally invite you in and show you around but something with the ERC came up last minute...so you’ve got us!”  
Nicky looked confused for a moment. “Suitcases in the trunk?” He asked, finger gesturing between Neil and Raven then back towards the car.  
“Just this.” Neil replied. God, was meeting new people always this painful? Neil thought.  
“Y’all pack light. Man I wish I could travel like that, it’d definitely save me the extra money when flying, but hell if I ain’t materialistic.” Nicky said, around a self deprecating laugh.  
“Materialistic is just a start.” Aaron said snidely. 

Nicky grinned and slid in between Neil and Raven, clasping both of their shoulders with his long arms, and guided them towards the gate and past the rest of the group.

They rode up the elevator in silence, Neil and Raven side by side, and the rest surrounding them; Neil pointedly watched the glowing orange of the elevator door buttons, so that he wouldn’t have to look at Kevin, Neil could tell Raven was doing the same.  
Being suspended in the air did not do any favors for Neil or his seemingly constant anxiety, he itched to find any and all fire exits as soon as possible, since it was clear jumping out of a window as a source of an escape route was out of the question. 

Wymacks apartment number was 724, Neil noted as he took in the blank white of the front door of the apartment. Nicky stepped forward, waving unnecessarily towards the door.  
“This is Wymacks humble abode, he lives in a place like this while us poor heathens couch hop.” Nicky sighed dramatically then perked up in a blink of of a lash,  
“For someone so poor, I’d think you’d have a much shittier car than what you own right now.” Raven said impassively, eyeing the hallway. It seemed to be eerily quiet and empty.  
“That car is the cause of our poorness.” Nicky said dryly, sending an accusing glare Andrew’s way, who in turn ignored Nicky.  
“Now I know that is not grammatically correct.” Aaron sighed.  
Nicky stuck out a tongue at Aaron, while Aaron ignored Nicky entirely. it seemed as though it was routine for the cousins, Neil thought.  
“Aaron’s mother bought it for us, with her life insurance money,” Andrew chimed in suddenly, there was an emphasis on ‘Aaron’s mother’  
“It was no surprise to anyone that she was more useful dead rather than alive.” Andrew finished, smiling with that nasty ass smirk. Once again Neil felt every hair stand on edge, goosebumps encasing his arms, despite the warmth of the hallway.  
“Easy.” Nicky said, all humor and warmth gone from his face, leaving a sudden serious intensity that was focused on Aaron, even though the statement was directed towards Andrew.  
“Open the door?” Raven said. Gesturing towards the still locked and unopened door.  
Aaron stepped forward, digging through his pockets to find the keys but Neil’s attention was snagged onto the fact that Aaron’s pockets were far too flat and obnoxiously small to hold the cigarette pack Neil had seen him stuff into said pockets not even thirty minutes ago. Neil noticed Raven’s lowered gaze, her eyes assessing Aaron’s obnoxious pants as well and then looked to Neil-

“Here we go, Neil and Raven.” Nicky said, gesturing them forward into the threshold of the apartment, Neil shook his thoughts straight trying to brush off the curl of unease within his gut.  
“Home sweet home, if anything involving coach can be called sweet.” Nicky finished off. 

Neil had thought he was prepared; he’d known since April that Raven and Neil would be staying with Wymack on the couch and floor, but that didn’t stop the curl of unease grow into something greater. 

Despite the fact that from what Neil could see in his short time knowing David Wymack, he didn’t at all resemble his father (at least not in the ways of his personality), the man had shown Neil and Raven a kindness that they had not experienced in the short term of their life, had given them a future and a chance that no one else bothered to give because they didn’t care too. Those facts still didn’t reassure Neil, he still didn’t trust men who resembled his father’s stature or age.

Neil and Raven had anticipated the stay with the coach to be unsavory to say the least, but the roil in his gut and the way Raven’s death grip along her duffle strap did not lighten, assured the pair that it was to be more than an unsavory stay for them. Neil’s mind was racing with plans and escape routes to the farthest hotel that they could stay in instead; Neil nor Raven couldn’t possibly sleep here. The paranoia of unknown hands and whispered threats lurked underneath the waves of Neil’s mental capacity, and reinstated his earlier suspicions, they could not stay here. 

“The hell did you say to them Andrew!” Nicky said,

Neil was only aware that they had been locked up and shuttered off for far too long when Nicky nudged Aaron, nervous and confused and quickly losing the cheerful mask he presented to the newest members of the foxes, and they knew they had both made a grave mistake.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil and Raven get a tour of the apartment while also going head to head with a certain Minyard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Hope your guys’ thanksgiving went well if you celebrate it! Feeling warm and fuzzy by the positive feedback! So keep it comin.
> 
> Trigger Warnings: Referenced child abuse, referenced act of assault based off of hate.

••••

Andrew’s shock of blonde hair was untamed and wild as he popped his head from the left of Neil to see what the hold up was, his smile was pure sardonic cheer, but his insipid eyes were strangely intense; Raven had the urge to break away from his gaze almost immediately. 

Raven stepped forward and into the threshold, the first of the pair to get their shit together, she ignored the pair of lingering eyes as she started down the carpeted hallway; Raven knew that despite Neil and Raven’s runner instincts, staying here was the smartest decision, the one that wouldn’t raise anymore false (correct) pretenses about their pasts, and neither of them truly did not desire to be questioned any further. 

Raven stepped into the living room, She took in the state of disarray that was supposed to be a living area, where Neil and Raven would supposedly be sleeping somehow. 

A beige and scratchy looking couch was clear of the rooms seemingly abundant clutter and had a bright yellow sticky note attached to a bundle of fleece blankets, stating where the extra sheets and blankets were (second television cabinet to the right), written in a messy, almost unintelligible scrawl. The couch was the only article of furniture that was clean in the room, every other surface was covered in crisp or wrinkled paperwork or dirty mugs or a combination of both. Raven noted that an unhealthy amount of overflowing ashtrays were scattered among the room as well. 

Raven made her way towards the only window in the room, cloaked with a hideous shade of tan brown curtain, she drew it back and her eyes swept over the barren slate of concrete that flowed into another parking lot of another cul de sac that was nearly identical to the one they were currently situated in.

Raven had already guessed that Neil and herself would have to rely on the fire escapes as an escape route, if it came down to it. Nevermind the fact that Raven had always enjoyed being high up, seeing the expanse of land and being able to feel as non restricted as she saw fit. 

Movement caught the corner of her eye, Neil moved towards the window, expression a bleak and false sort of calm even though she had heard Neil’s elevated breaths and saw how his eyes dilated as he tried to reign in his near panic attack. 

Neil was halfway across the room when Nicky spoke up behind him.  
“The fuck was that all about?”  
Raven’s hands clenched around the window sill, her body coiled so tight that she thought she might snap at any moment, it took all of her power to take small and even breaths, even though she itched for the knives that were sheathed in her boots. 

Raven could give less of a fuck about the words that Nicky spewed, but it was the impassioned language that got Raven’s heart racing and body ready to take flight. 

German was Neil and Raven’s second language. They had been forced to learn said language in the back of a shitty, torn and worn backseat of a vehicle that Mary had hot wired in a remote town near the Austrian border.

Raven remembered Mary’s lined features, wrinkled flaws accentuated as the cherry haze of her signature Marlboro hung from the plump line of her lips, causing a myriad of shadows to reach across the planes of her face. 

Recalled how Mary’s vicious snarls had ignited a still burning flame of hate for the woman; recalled Mary’s fists and harsh slaps if they weren’t quiet enough, if they weren’t obedient enough, if they weren’t perfectly robotic and how she wanted them programmed to be. 

They had spent three horrible years spent In Austria, Germany and Switzerland enveloped and immersed in the language even further. 

The desirous question was...how the fuck did Nicky know they spoke it? 

Neil slid in besides Raven, acting as though he was merely identifying the terrain outside, then He shot Raven a side long look that spoke for itself; Raven was suspecting that they might need to test their luck with the window after all, if anything the height they were currently elevated was nothing compared to other jumps Neil and Raven had done in the past.

“How in the fuck would I know?” Aaron said, only just then did both Raven and Neil realize that they weren’t the ones being spoken to. “Maybe they were just..I don’t know, savoring not being homeless anymore, they certainly look the part though.”  
“Uh huh, I don’t think so, that was a pure “I’m about to book it the fuck out of here!” type of reaction.” Nicky said, Raven could practically feel the caress of Nicky’s concern, she gladly shook it off.

Nicky’s German sounded more authentic and homegrown, whilst Aaron’s sounded stiff and a bit unintelligible, it was clear to Raven that Aaron was educated rather than a native speaker. 

Raven turned around, masking her earlier panic with thinly veiled annoyance and indifference. She supposed that Nicky was used to masking his emotions in some way because his earlier confusion/concern was quickly glossed over with a dopey grin that did not coincide with his eyes .

“Hey! Want a tour?” Nicky said.  
“Yeah, sure.” Neil said, shifting his duffle onto his opposite shoulder. A nervous tick that only Raven would notice.  
“Sooo, let’s head towards the bathroom and laundry room first so you can find all the detergent and stuff.” Nicky said, spinning out of the tan living area and down the hall. 

Raven followed somewhat reluctantly, glancing at the blank surface that was the hall walls as she followed Nicky’s loud voice and Aaron’s silent jeers, she took note of the lack of family photos that would usually hang in a home, but personally Raven did not know what a proper home looked like, so she guessed she was not one to make judgments.

Raven moved until she was shoulder to shoulder with Neil, and as they looked into the small and tidy bathroom, Golden light poured through the skylight that was currently covered with a few leaves and specks of dirt, Nicky waved his arms around, pointing to the extra towels and toothbrushes in various different drawers in the small space. 

Raven looked over to Aaron, positive that at least Neil was listening to Nicky’s tumultuous ranting, he was leaning against the door that Raven guessed was the laundry room, his form was somewhat languid but on guard as well. 

Suddenly Raven’s mind summoned up the anomalous discovery that she and Neil had made at the threshold of their new coaches apartment. 

Whilst sitting in the middle seat of Aaron’s GS, (Raven had only learned the make of the car out of habit in order to determine if it was hot wirable. It was not, nothing after 2004.) she had watched Aaron’s mannerisms, he had acted cold and formal to both Neil and Raven but especially towards Raven, his eyes never lingered or thickened with unwanted want like all of the usual strangers’ gazes did. 

However, Aaron’s light eyes reflected something that was unwanted and wholly unexpected, attraction.  
As Raven continued to stare at him just to be sure, his freckled face grew slightly hotter and he broke his light eyed gaze away from Raven’s first, his gaze furiously attentive to his scuffed boots once again, anomalous indeed.

Nicky came out of the bathroom, triumphant smile adorning his face as Neil barely conversed with him, they moved towards the front of the apartment, bypassing the kitchen, which wasn’t anything to make a fuss over, medium sized and tiled and with a fridge that was messily customized, Raven had come to the conclusion ...that it was just a kitchen.

“That’s Wymacks room over to the left,” Nicky said, bouncing his way straight ahead, “This is his office.” 

Nicky opened the door with another unnecessary flourish, revealing and even more cluttered and document strewn bedroom room that had been converted into an office, the four walls were covered with various Exy related documents, certificates, files and important team meeting dates, Raven noticed hers and Neil’s vanilla colored files that were somewhat neatly piled onto a chair in the less untidy part of the room, and on top rested an orange prescription bottle, which Nicky scooped up, making a triumphant sound that reminded Raven of an ambulance siren.

“That’s not yours.” Neil stated obviously, his voice held little to no inflection but Raven had just enough self will in order to not roll her eyes. 

“Pain killers,” Nicky said. “The coach had a hip injury a few years back and it’s caused him trouble ever since, In fact that’s how he met our team nurse, Abby, she was his physical therapist during his recovery period and he got her a job here at the university after he recovered. The team’s split fifty fifty on whether or not their boning, so do a little observing and hit me up if they are, I’ve got money on it after all.” 

Nicky sent Neil and Raven an overly exaggerated wink, then popped off the milky white prescription bottle cap and shook out a couple pale white tablets into his palms and set the pill bottle where he had found it. Raven suspected that whatever Nicky was currently on didn’t need painkillers added to the mix; but a quick glance in Aaron’s direction revealed an impassive expression, he didn’t seem at all concerned.

“You guys will meet Abby tonight at dinner,” Nicky said, occupied with stuffing several pills into his jeans pocket, “It seems like we have a few extra hours to waste, so we’ll head to the court and get you guys all situated and cozy there. I’m surprised Kevin hasn’t dragged you guys to court already, now that we have enough players for an actual scrimmage. He was practically pissing himself with excitement earlier.” Nicky finished.

“Somehow I doubt that.” Neil said, eyes glazed over at the prospect of finally being in an Exy court after almost two months.

“Kevin doesn’t exactly do excited,” Aaron agreed.  
“But since Day practically lives and breathes Exy, no one is as happy as Kevin to have you on the team.” 

Raven’s snarky comment was suddenly swallowed up by another realization, and from a glance in Neil’s direction he was processing the same thing Raven was. In the car, Aaron's reaction towards Kevin’s supposed Exy addiction was almost scornful and disdained, except right now Aaron’s reaction held no other expression besides pure apathy. 

Raven’s annoyance and anger were beginning to bleed together, between the matching outfits, change in attitude and lingering glances that were not present before, Raven was beginning to suspect a game was being played without Neil or Raven’s knowledge. They were incredibly minuscule and irrelevant details to any other person but Raven and Neil had learned to always pay attention to things like this, and they had had to learn the hard way in order to do so.

“I mean, isn't it hard to even play with Kevin.” Neil said, and by the glint in his brown contacted eyes, Raven knew he had caught on to the twins’ ‘game’ as well. “He is a champion after all.” 

“To be fair we haven’t even played with Kevin yet, he had only started to flow into our drills like, a month or so ago.” Nicky said, apparently oblivious to Neil sudden eerie calm, “But if he’s anything like how he was as our assistant coach, y’all are in for a treat, It’s going to be your worst year yet!” 

“Is it worth the fights though?” Raven chimed in. leaning against the far wall eyeing both Nicky and Aaron, “Like the one Aaron told us got completely out of hand two weeks ago; How many people were injured again Aaron?” 

Under Raven’s brown eyed scrutiny Aaron reddened slightly. But Raven watched as his eyes grew shadowed for just a moment and his features pause before smoothing out.

“Eleven.” Aaron said.

It was the correct answer, and Raven was only aware of the fact based on Neil incessant need to read aloud everything that happened to Kevin and Andrew in various articles and newspapers, ever since they’d both been recruited.  
But they hadn’t had that conversation with ‘Aaron’ in the car. 

It was almost imperceptible, how Raven forgot Nicky’s exasperated and appalled reaction in the living room: “The hell did you say to them Andrew?!” Raven had assumed that Nicky was inquiring about that night in Millport but it was clear now that Nicky had been talking about the ride from the airport to the apartment. It truly wasn’t Aaron who had picked them up from the airport.

Raven was annoyed that she wasn’t aware of the nearly missed deception sooner, hated the way her body seemed to crawl just by the lack of control she had had in the situation, a slight slip up like this, would have garnered Raven a ‘much needed’ punishment from Mary, if Raven was being perfectly honest, she was glad that the woman was dead. She did not want to think about what dear mother Mary would do if she saw them now. 

From what Raven gathered from what Neil had read to her about Andrew’s current state of drug induced mania, Two years ago, four men attacked Nicky in a back alley of some local night club. when authorities arrived on the scene, they found Andrew, fists black and blue and the men beaten within an inch of their lives, Andrew was within any and all of his rights to defend Nicky, but the courts had thought that Andrew’s defense of his cousin was a “gross” and “overreactive” will of violent intent, they had tried to charge Andrew right then and there, which was absolute bullshit to Raven; but it’s not like she expected the justice system to be very just, other wise Neil and Raven wouldn’t be stuck in the very situation they were in now. 

Instead of charging Andrew for the “Violence inflicted based on ill intent” Minyard’s lawyers had struck a deal in turn: Andrew would be put under intensive therapy, attend and uphold his weekly counseling sessions and take medication.

After three years of the supposed “plan” Andrew would be taken off his medication and be assessed for any sign of his “lingering bouts of violent intent.” 

If Andrew was sober for any of the stated time, he would be in violation of his parole. If the team nurse, now known as Abby, or Andrew’s current psychiatrist, or the court mandated psychiatrist who managed Andrew’s parole, found out that Andrew was violating any of the given terms of his sentence, they would be under the jurisdiction to request a urinalysis. If Andrew failed he would be charged and sentenced to a state county prison.

Andrew only had to wait it out until the spring, but apparently he had a desperate craving for years behind bars. Raven was interested in why Andrew had felt the need to become sober in order to play mind games and risk breaking his parole. One would think that the consequences were a bit too steep to be making impulsive decisions such as the ones Andrew was making now. Raven suspected that it had something to do with their arrival, Raven guessed that Andrew might want to meet their new teammates without the haze of drug induced mania clouding his thoughts, or if Andrew was just simply sick of being constantly under the control of something he wasn’t allowed to shake off. 

Raven watched as Neil tried to fight the caution that generally awakened his runner instincts and try to puzzle the pieces that were Andrew Minyard together, when he came to the correct conclusion, he slid Raven a warning almost alarmed stare that was only met with a look of cool collectiveness, his features calmed almost immediately. 

As if summoned, Andrew materialized at the end of the hallway, Kevin right at his heels, holding a bottle of glossy, ambered whiskey, “Success.” He said.

“Won’t that interfere with your meds?” Raven said, tone montone and uninterested, cutting into Nicky’s mock excited/cautious reminder that they probably should head to the court before coach shows up. “A cocktail like that could be a danger to the system.” Raven remarked, feigning ignorance. 

“Oh, Raven, you didn’t notice? Andrew’s not medicated today.” Neil said sidling up next to her, “He should be in the clear.” Neil grinned as though Andrew and the pair were old friends, in on an old running joke.

“Ah, my bad.” Raven said, with a slight shrug of her shoulders, as if stating her apology even if her expression reflected anything but. 

Raven could guess that the whole neighborhood all but heard Nicky’s disbelieving screech. The sound echoed through the thick moment of silence that ensued. 

Raven took in the state of shock that was comically apparent on the rest of their teammates faces, all except Andrew looked surprised, Raven felt satisfaction that even Kevin looked taken aback by their confirmed hypothesis. 

Unsurprisingly, Nicky was the first to find his tongue amongst others, instead he reverted back to German to relay to Aaron, “Am I losing it or did those two just...did that actually happen?”  
Raven was quietly grateful that she was able to understand the conversation between the two, they could not afford any more trivial agendas such as this one. 

“Don’t fucking look at me, I’m just as lost as you are!” Aaron replied in kind. 

“I’d think we’d prefer a reply in a language we can actually understand, yes?” Raven said, brown eyes sliding over to Neil, a smile playing on her full lips. 

Neil nodded seriously, “Feels a bit rude don’t you think?” Neil said in kind, A reflection of Raven’s slight smile copied and pasted onto his mouth.

“Oh no, this just won’t do.” Andrew said, pale thumb flicking over his lips, as if to swipe away the manic smile beginning to take place, “You two just might be interesting after all, not for long though. Amusement is only a temporary thing after all.”  
“Don’t mess with us.” Neil said.  
“Oh?” Andrew said, expressionless mask firmly in place aside from the dangerous glint of interest in his eyes. 

Just then the doorknob to the apartment was jostled, Almost invisibly did Andrew’s smile slide back into place, leaving his eyes without any emotions besides pure vacancy. Andrew turned slightly sliding the bottle of whiskey to Kevin in what seemed like a well practiced move. 

“To be continued.” Raven said. Her cool brown eyes locking onto a set of cold hazel irises. She tapped two fingers to her temple, a mock salute from their first meeting, a sick sort of an inside joke between Andrew and Raven.

Andrew didn’t break his gaze away from Raven’s, his stare intent, then Andrew turned towards the large figure in the door way, manic smile firmly back in place. “What Coach, no ‘honey I’m home’?” Andrew said.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil and Raven further acquaint with Wymack and are bombarded with Andrew and the monsters.
> 
> Trigger Warning:  
Very very very minor reference to past child abuse (involving charred flesh)

•••••

“The fuck did I say Minyard? Do you realize how much I despise seeing you here in my home?” Wymack said, sliding into the hallway just as Kevin and Aaron slipped passed him, supposedly smuggling the bottle of whiskey between their bodies. 

David Wymack was a beast of a man; he quite frankly looked like a garage band reject with his worn jean shorts and recycled Grateful Dead tee that had clearly seen better days, Neil thought as he examined the interaction between the coach and Andrew’s lot. 

Wymack was currently beyond the point of exasperation. Neil noticed that Raven slid closer to Neil, sensing his extreme discomfort with the older man. 

“Aw coach my heart, it bleeds.” Andrew said, clutching at his chest with a mock expression of pure hurt, but his false manic smile told his bluff. 

Wymack’s eyes settled on Neil and Raven and the protective air that surrounded her, he raised a single dark brow in question. 

“I see that y’all made it safely?” Wymack inquired. “Nicky’s driving can be a real life hazard, I was almost positive you guys would have died on the way here.” 

“We’ve been through worse.” Raven said circumspectly. 

“Hey my driving isn’t-“ Nicky started, but was quickly shut down by Wymack.  
“Shove it tweedle dumb, I don’t I want to hear it. You can whine all you want to the several trash cans that have been assaulted over the last couple of months.” 

“Those were all accidents!” Nicky continued, “And I didn’t even see Mrs. Riviera’s dog on the sidewalk, Honest!” 

Wymack looked up at the ceiling with a look of jaded tiredness that could only come with the job in which he was stationed. His fingers rubbed harsh circles into his temples and followed the path into his slightly peppered hairline.

“What are you fucks still doing here?” He asked, glaring down at Andrew with a gaze that held little to no heat, Neil guessed that he was completely drained by the few minutes that he had dealt with his players. 

“Leaving now,” Andrew singsonged, “Neil and Raven will be coming with us though.” 

“Uh huh, and where to exactly?” Wymacks earlier exasperation quickly replaced with guarded suspicion. 

“Just to the court. Kevin’s waited too long apparently and says we need to hurry our shit.” Aaron chimed in, ignoring the look of annoyance Kevin shot his way. “Did you need them for something? We can take them to abby’s after.” 

Wymack shook his head, digging into his pockets to dig out two sets of keys, “No, just needed to give them these, you both have keys to the apartment, long key is for when the front gate closes at night, the smaller is to get into the complex. The others are for the stadium and all of the fucking gates and exits. Kevin has a matching set, so if you lose them you have to share with him, he can also show you where each of them leads too. I expect them to be put too good use.” 

“Thank you,” Neil said, his fingers clenched around the cool metal, he traced the multiple loops and intricate digs of the keys design. He somehow felt both strengthened and disheartened at the feel of the keys in his hand, at the solid weight of what they now signified. In that moment it didn’t matter what type of fucked up scheme Andrew had with both Neil and Raven, They had a place that they were allowed to be and a court waiting to be taken advantage of. “We will.” 

“Blatant favoritism, coach,” Andrew said.

“Maybe if you actually bothered to grace the court with your presence when the team isn’t practicing.” Wymack said. “And since that’s about as unlikely as Kevin suddenly turning into an optimist, I’d say shut your midget trap and continue to share with him.” 

“Oh coach, I’m shivering with excitement.” Andrew said, words practically oozing with well versed sarcasm. “Are we allowed to go now?” 

“Out.” Wymack said, apparently that was all Andrew needed before disappearing out of the room altogether. Kevin and Aaron followed soon after ever the silent shadows and that left everyone but nicky. He had gotten to the office door threshold before Wymack called out to him.

“Don’t you even think about fucking with them their first day here.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it coach!” Nicky said, grinning around the particularly charged lie, which put Neil on edge. Whatever had happened today clearly wasn’t an unusual feat for Andrew’s lot it seemed, Neil filed away the piece of information away for later inspection.

Neil was on edge, and more than ready to get the hell away from the older man that brought back stinging memories of charred flesh and hauntingly fresh taunts.

When he stepped towards Nicky, duffle slung over his left shoulder, he felt a tug on the strap. When he turned, Raven sent a significant look to both Nicky and their duffles.  
Their bags in tandem contained their whole entire lives worth, just the idea of leaving the duffles unattended in a space that would as so very foreign made Neil’s skin itch and scalp tingle from the phantom blows from his deceased mother. Neil didn’t know the details of andrew’s twisted agenda, or the true reason behind his sudden sobriety and he had a dreaded whisperer in his ear telling him that Andrew was far from done with either of them.

So after a moment of debate, he shrugged his duffle from his shoulder and faced Wymack.

“We need a space to put these.” Neil said, motioning towards the bags.

“There’s space in the living room, knock yourselves out.” Wymack said. 

Neil didn’t know how to directly tell Wymack what they both needed with Nicky in such close quarters of the conversation. Wymack, somehow noticing both Neil and Raven’s unease decided to quell the problem at hand.

“Nicky, the fuck are you still doing here?” He said, “Out.” He pointed a large thick finger towards the hall, signaling him to make his much needed exit from the room. Neil heard Nicky scoff something unintelligible but he disappeared down the hall without a word nonetheless. 

“Talk to me.” Wymack said, as soon as he was sure Nicky was out of earshot. he sat sidled up against the cluttered desk, stacked high with various papers that rested against the far wall. Neil felt somewhat of a relief having the older man somewhat farther away, no matter how ‘good’ Wymack presented himself to them.

“We need someplace secure to place these, somewhere with a lock preferably.” Raven said, tracking the older man’s hands with her eyes.

“Why?” he asked,.

“It’s all we have.” Neil said.

Without another word Wymack slid from his perch on the desk, sliding on his knees and began to rummage through the two lowest drawers of the furniture piece, dumping out various documented papers and cluttered knick knacks, and only stopped when the drawers were supposedly empty and then stood.

“This is only temporary,”Wymack said. “when you move into the dorms you two will have to figure out another solution.” he waited until they both nodded and then motioned for them to set their respective duffles inside the large drawers, Raven keeping even the barest of contact to a slim margin. 

Once they were shut and as secure as they would get, Wymack handed them the keys to the desk. Neil was suddenly overcome with the dumbstruck emotion that was surprise, he couldn’t entirely fathom how an entire stranger could give over a piece of themselves so easily; and without wanting anything in return, it was more than a little disorienting to Neil, and judging by the way Raven’s face was set to a carefully crafted mask of apathy, he could tell she was just as nonplussed as he was. Neil was about to question their coach’s true intentions before the man in question spoke up.

“Hurry up and catch up to Andrew before he leaves you both.” he said, “Then I'll have to give you two a ride there, so go.” 

Neil and Raven sent quick and formal nods towards their coach, tucking another set of new keys to something that was temporarily theirs for the time being. Ignoring the ringing sense of safety, Raven and Neil set off to find Andrew.

•••••

The others were waiting in the hallway, and had left the door wide open. Raven shut it as they made their way out of the suffocatingly awkward apartment and away from the older man who held a miniscule resemblance to a whisper of a person that was undoubtedly still after them. 

Andrew and the cousins (plus Kevin) said nothing as they walked towards the steel elevators, it took only seconds for the elevator car to arrive and ding open but it felt like minutes with the help of the tense silence that engulfed everyone. 

Raven’s false blanket of security soon slipped away as the doors behind them slid closed and she was on guard in seconds. Their new teammates had arranged themselves in a circle that surrounded and Neil and Raven: Nicky and Aaron to Raven’s sides and Andrew and Kevin to Neil’s opposite side. All eyes were trained on them.

Raven was decidedly not amused with the half assed scare tactic, she was also not pleased with the arrangement, considering that neither Aaron or Nicky could hold her cold gaze for longer than a few seconds, then their eyes would set determinedly on their shoes. Neil however was facing Andrew and Kevin and that pairing would just not do. 

Raven intercepted the tense staring contest by pulling Neil towards the pair that she was previously ‘cornered’ by, rather confident in their lack of intimidating presence. The same however could not be said for Andrew, who practically oozed with the confidence of a trained killer. There was an unnatural stillness to him, one that reminded her of Raven’s mother. 

His manic smile dissipated with every drop of a level. Until his light eyes were oh so vacant as he regarded Raven with pure languor.

“Ever the bodyguard it seems,” Andrew drawled, before continuing. “How very nice it has been to make your acquaintances-”

“The pleasure has been all yours, I’m sure.” Neil murmured behind her. Raven not so subtly stepped back and purposefully aimed for his foot as a form of warning to keep quiet. 

“But I’m afraid we won’t be seeing each other for sometime.” Andrew finished, eyes shining with a mix of apathy and displeasure.

“Somehow I doubt lady luck is on our side.” Raven said.

“Like this” Andrew said, finger motioning between his and Raven’s faces then crisscrossing between Neil’s face as well. “It will wait until June. Abby all but threatened to lock down the stadium and ban us from the premises if we broke you two sooner than that. Then Kevin would cry and I would enjoy it; but it would be a rewardless amusement and I know better then to get on the coach's bad side, so no worries. We’ll wait until the full pack is here and abby’s little head is too filled with the other foxes to worry about the two of you. Then we’ll finally get to have some fun and throw you two a welcoming party you won’t forget.” 

“I’m afraid to say that from what I’ve witnessed so far,” Raven declaimed, “Not only do your tactics of intimidation need polishing, but your persuasion techniques need rethinking as well.” 

“And I’m afraid to say that I don’t need to be persuasive,” Andrew drawled, eyes once again flaming with false mirth. “You’ll just learn that it will make your life ten times easier when you listen to me.” 

The elevator jolted in its descent, finally arriving to the ground floor; the doors pinged open behind Raven. Andrew tried to bump into her but with the extreme difference in height, she easily sidestepped his petty notion, gathering Neil by the arm and away from the others as Andrew and his stooges practically tried to stampede the pair in their haste to exit the confined space.

Nicky was the only one out of the group that hung back, supplying Raven and Neil with a hasty lukewarm smile that Raven guessed was supposed to be taken as a sign of silent encouragement. He left before anything could be said, hurrying after his family (and kevin).

Raven was on the cusp of a beginning of a migraine, the tension poking pin needles in the back of her eye sockets; Making it ache to blink. She rubbed her temples with furious abandon until she felt Neil’s fingers on her trembling hands, motioning for her to stop her very aged nervous tick.

“Ready for this?” Neil asked.

He stood next to her, reassuring her with a soft tug on her rebellious, dense curls. They would be together and deal with what ever was thrown at them as a united force, Raven reminded herself. Like they always had. 

“Ready.” she said, and they both started towards their teammates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Neil’s a bit more confident in this universe, since he has Raven and isn’t as alone like in canon. I hope I translate it okay and it’s not too forced? Idk. 
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil and Raven are introduced to the Exy stadium, and we learn how Raven and Neil have acquired their skill set when it comes to Exy.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING:  
Child abuse, referenced panic attack, and referenced claustrophobia in the very beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! It has been way too long since I've updated this fic, but to be honest, it's taking me this long to finish it; Imagine being an unfortunate mix of a perfectionist AND procrastinator in one, well that's me. I haven't given up on this fic and I will not, the more I begin to write the more my ideas are coming to fruition. So please enjoy it!

••••

Raven tried to focus on the rolling campus as Andrew tore threw the various parking lots, running her hands over the grainy black leather of the car seats, attempting to stamp out the memories of an inky black enclosed space and attempted to replace them with the wide expanse of an Exy court, the smell of harsh lemon-scented floor polish and the cool feel of metal from the base of her Exy racquet. 

Having the presence of Neil beside her soothed her somewhat but with Nicky sandwiched next to her combined with the suffocatingly tense air in the already confined car, Raven’s nerves were ricocheting beneath her skin, keeping her body rigid and alert, her anxiety not allowing her to fully compose herself, so instead she focused her mind back to the scenery outside.

The Foxhole Court, to say the least, was an orange eyesore. The stadium itself was built to house sixty-five thousand people, a maximum that had only been reached once, almost four decades ago when the very first of the foxes made their debut. The outer walls were a striking white that stood out harshly against the tangerine trimmings and gargantuan, moderately kindergarten, fox paws that were stamped on all four walls of the building.

The structure was placed on the outskirts of the palmetto state campus, towering over the little, negligible facility buildings used for storage and other unimportant classes that the university begrudgingly continued funding. Raven wondered if the university was also kicking themselves for allowing the stain that was the Palmetto State Foxes to remain unwashed.

When the car finally rolled to a stop in the fifth out of four parking lots, Raven was the first out, climbing over Nicky’s long limbs, ignoring the latter’s squawks of spanished protests in doing so, with Neil not far behind her. The pair walked towards the barbed wire fence that wrapped around the entire length of the stadium, and the gates beyond that were where the game-day crowds were supposed to gather and enter.

Neil walked toward the fence until his face was nose to nose with it, his hand reaching up to grasp the silver metal rungs, his coffee-hued eyes vividly glossy with excitement and yearning; his face probably rivaling Raven’s at the moment. Raven’s eyes swept over the sea of blindingly orange stadium seats and the closed souvenirs and food stands, drinking in the sight of the home of their longest distraction. 

“Once you get past all of the bright orange everywhere, this place grows on you.” Nicky promised, clasping his hand on the shoulder cuff of Neil’s fraying shirt; Raven surmised they would have to deal with the shopping spree later, Raven could only envision how ‘thrilled’ Neil would be.

“Let’s go,” Raven said, Tired of waiting for Neil to plummet down from his starstruck daze, she tugged at the hem of his shirt, motioning for him to trail her down the cement pathway towards where the others were assuredly impatiently waiting.

They had parked in front of Gate twenty-four, which meant that whoever wanted to reach Gate one, would have to go through the back hallway to reach the foxes’ entrance gate; Raven made a mental note to ‘borrow’ their new coach’s informational pamphlet about the remaining emergency exits of the stadium. 

If dear mother Mary had taught them anything, it was that you always learned the layout of a new area and all of its exits, otherwise you were basically supplying your enemies with the gun, as well as the ammunition that would inevitably aid in your demise.

The others were waiting in front of the specified Gate, with Kevin practically tapping his wrist and foot in tandem with the impatience of someone who was used to being listened to and whose law was usually always abided, Raven supposed that at least that had not changed in the last decade. Aaron also had reacquired the ambered liquor, the bottle in which dangled in bored palms.

“So this is our main entrance,” Nicky said, “The code changes every couple of months, but ever since Kevin’s been announced to play for us, it’s basically been changed weekly, Coach always lets us know when it changes. Right now the code is 0508, May and August.”

Nicky had suspended his informational overhaul instead to stare patently and waggle his dark aristocratic brows at the pair as if Neil and Raven were supposed to know something monumentally paramount. They stared back with unrevealed expressions of impassiveness.

“Oh, Dios Mio! It's Coach and Abby’s birth months, I told you they were Maldito!” Nicky said in clear exasperation.

But to be quite frank, Raven had relatively zero interest in what two people were doing behind closed doors; especially if said people were middle-aged and heterosexual. 

“Anyways,” Nicky said after a painful amount of time had passed. “When are your guy’s birthdays?” 

“Mine was in March,” Neil lied gracefully, “Raven’s is on Halloween.” 

“Oh well, we missed yours but Raven’s is soon enough.” Nicky’s face dropped for all of a second before the lively sunshine grin was firmly back in place, “But since we recruited you in April that has to be the greatest early/belated gift ever! What'd your lovers get you?”

“For fuck’s sake!” Aaron chimed in, agonized face hidden behind his fingers, “Lovers? Seriously?” 

“Yes Aaron, people have lovers,” Nicky said, face transformed into an expression of faux pity, “Besides I didn’t want to assume which way they swung. By the way, that brings me to a very important topic, which way do you guys swing?”

Neil was past the point of restlessness, practically bordering on restive. The glaring and sudden conversation switch to their sexuality didn’t lessen the anxious twitch of his fingers. Raven herself assuredly knew she was not straight, very far from it actually. It also didn’t mean she felt comfortable enough to provide the information to anyone willingly, it was the only part of herself that remained a solid constant throughout the dozens of identities and states and countries they filtered through over the years; remaining something that was solely Raven’s to share or not to share with anyone. 

Neil, on the other hand, became discomfited and tense when asked about his sexual identity and became even more so when propositioned; which was a regular enough occurrence in itself for the pair, so much so in fact, they avoided any and all niceties and strictly told whoever came up to them to politely fuck off.

Raven had noticed long ago that Neil never took an interest in anything or anyone else besides Exy and the task at hand. Neil had only been mildly curious in a few girls in questionable southern towns that felt as though the dirty air clung to your skin like lime water-saturated clothes, and the red-necked people that resided there were constantly watching, hoping for a reason to openly voice their racist views on the obvious difference in skin tone between Raven and Neil and at the time, Mary. 

Raven supposed that during that short period of time, not only had Neil’s pubescent curiosity died, which could then be connected to Mary and her ever-present onslaught of abuse and strong-willed, raging paranoia; But Raven’s lack of self-awareness on the world’s racial climate had been swiftly crushed as well. 

“What’s that have to do with anything?” Raven asked, tone slow and falsely passive.

“I’m just curious, you guys aren’t exactly open books or anything,” Nicky said, laughing awkwardly. 

“You mean nosey?” She asked, head tilted and eyes directly centered on Nicky, poisonous edge present in her tone.

“I don’t swing, either way,” Neil cut in, eyes trained on the secured entry door, tattered shoes tapping on the concrete below. “ Can we go in now?” 

“Bullshit,” Nicky said.

“He doesn’t,” Raven said, not liking the way Nicky seemed keen on interrogating Neil; her poisonous edged tone turned lethal instantly. “Now, are we going to go in, or are we just going to stand here in the heat and twiddle our thumbs all day?” 

“Thank god,” Kevin said, rushing toward the keypad, and nimbly typed in the four-digit code, then motioned with a wave of his fingers towards the entrance once the automatic door was supposedly unlocked, “Go.” 

Raven and Neil didn’t need to be told twice, quick in their haste to avoid any further confrontation or conflict with Nicky that treaded treacherous waters. The door led into a cemented floor hallway, which was, thankfully, free of any orange; except for when they reached the main door, which was masked with various fox merch stickers and paraphernalia; all save for a spot on the door, that read in big orange block letters ‘Foxes’. 

Neil held up the keyring and turned to Kevin with a look of questioning, in turn, Kevin pointed at the correct key and Neil inserted it in the knob.

Raven felt slightly nostalgic, stepping into a locker room again after months of being without access to a proper court; Hernandez, however annoying and meddlesome, knew about Raven and Neil squatting in the locker room that belonged to the Arizona Dingos. He had caught them once or twice but he had never said a thing, she was at least thankful to him for that. 

The first room was a lounge, two large snow colored couches sat facing opposite across from each other, with two modern-looking circular chairs centered next to one other in the awkward space that was left in between the two other pieces of furniture; which was formed around an admittedly impressive entertainment center, where Neil would undoubtedly watch an Exy game mindlessly, while Raven would probably sketch in her sketchbook, half paying attention to the game in front of her.

The rest of the walls surrounding the lounge were covered in a myriad of bleached and newly placed polaroids of past and present teammates; one wall, in particular, was just pictures of the three women on the team. 

One of the reasons why the Palmetto State Foxes stood out to Raven, besides the whole Kevin scandal, was the diverse nature towards having women play Exy. David Wymack, in past years, had advocated for women to be put on the school’s Exy team to the Board of administration, not relenting until the board took notice of the Foxe’s stark decline in wins and had begrudgingly allowed his pleas. 

Then just that year he had recruited Danielle Wilds and had declared her the first female captain in NCAA Class I Exy, and not only was she a woman, she was also black as well. The media coverage was one that Raven followed closely, the foxes were already disgraced in the social whirlpool that was Collegiate Sports and, to the not so, bearded racist misogynistic, assholes of the sports world, having a black woman dictate an Exy team that was housed under a franchise that was already a largely white and male-dominated sport was essentially like Armageddon to them. 

Raven remembered the downright cruel way Danielle’s own teammates had treated her during her first-year being captain, slewing insults that were fed to the press. Who in question, were greedy for any signs of evidence that would correlate to the foxes’ future downfall due to a woman’s influence. 

Despite the controversy that was purely speculatory, three years later, Danielle had basically proved everyone wrong, the teammates who criticized her in the beginning, had either dropped out of college or had resigned in playing Exy in general, leaving Danielle with a team that was dysfunctional yet openly loyal and supportive of her efforts. 

Ever since then, Raven had always looked at Danielle Wilds as this fierce powerhouse Exy captain who had, what felt like, the whole entire world against her. Yet still remained on top, corraling even the most ridiculed team in Collegiate Exy into something that was presentable. 

Their new team captain was painted in a whole new light within the polaroids, revealing a real person who was someone other than Collegiate Exy’s first-ever female captain. Danielle seemed to be softer, less viscous in the photos but still ever the menace, grin wide and dopey whenever she had her arm slung around one of the women on the team. 

Nicky, regarding their distraction, tapped the photos chained residents according to person, “Renee, Dan, and Allison. Dan will work your ass to the bone, but she means well. Allison’s basically the human incarnate of the devil, so stay away from her at all costs. Renee’s basically the entire opposite, so treat her well.” 

“Or else we’ll regret it?” Raven said, hearing the double meaning underneath Nicky’s positive perception of Renee. 

Nicky, in question, smiled and shrugged off Raven’s soft accusation.

“Hurry up, let’s go,” Kevin said, turning out of the room, apparently too fretful to wait for everyone else.

Raven’s eyes were drawn back to pastel haired goalie for some reason, unable to shake the feeling of dread or something else indescribable within her stomach; a sensation she was beginning to think she should avoid like the plague. Shaking her head, she followed Neil out of the lounge and toward the rest of their team.

•••

Neil and Raven were surrounded by the wide expanse of the court, the clear, hard plexiglass an invisible afterthought amongst Neil’s reeling and wonderstruck mind, playing catch up, trying to relay the moments that led up to this minute. 

His feet in contact with genuine hardwood floors, which glistened supremely underneath the white fluorescent overhead stadium lights. 

Neil felt somewhat discouraged and essentially terrified, viewing the large orange and white banners that commemorated those few good foxes that preceded them. Neil felt his hands connect with the plexiglass walls, his body seemingly moving on autopilot, as he looked up and took in the sight of the giant scoreboards and replay televisions dotting the stadium’s walls every twenty feet or so. 

How could they play here of all places, after playing on a laughable grass mockery that the Arizona Dingos had called an Exy court?

Neil wanted to slap himself silly, make himself realize the sheer stupidity of what them being here now meant; wanted to plead to Raven, change her stubborn and strong-willed mind, wanted to scream until his voice was raw and bloody until he had finally persuaded Raven into running to the nearest border and finally leaving the U.S. for good. 

The selfish part of him, however, was in a constant tug of war clash between doing what was certainly smarter, versus playing into his own weak-willed desires and choosing the unmistakably senseless alternative. 

Yet, his body practically ached with the need to play, to feel the slick sweat against his bulky skin-tight gear, wanted to taste the pressing seconds before feeling momentous exhilaration, of throwing a ball accurately, lighting the goal ablaze with beautiful crimson; wanted to the feel the prickly sensation of goosebumps that soon trailed along his whole entire body thereafter. 

Most of all, he craved to glance over and see Raven there behind him; Face largely masked by the required Exy helmet, but Neil could imagine her beaming grin, ardent and untamed all the while, barreling towards him after a particularly successful play on both of their parts.

Neil closed his eyes, lids clenched and sealed tight; and allowed the familiar scent of the pungent, chemically harsh floor polish to fill his nostrils, granted the seemingly tranquil air in the encased plexiglass enclosure that blocked off the surrounding sonance of the outside world to wash over him; wrapping Neil up in a safe haven of distorted oblivion.

Neil reminded himself of Raven’s words from weeks ago, back when he had just come down from one of the worst anxiety attacks he had in some time; he had felt reassured by the sincere surety of her tone and the amount of power the words she had spoken had held. 

Now he wasn’t exactly sure that what they were doing was the right plan of action, he didn’t doubt Raven, he would never doubt Raven, but his mind was a disastrous battleground with his long-dead mother’s scarring rules and Neil’s unequaled loyalty and faith in Raven, were going head to head, leaving his brain torn and confused; left in bloody ribbons by the carnage that his conflicted indecisiveness ensued. 

Neil’s breathing was harsh against his hearing, heavy and labored with the beginning signs of panic; he then regulated it by forcing himself to remain calm, taking the seconds breath by breath until he felt centered again. 

He felt the whisper of a hand against his back, a signal that was taken as a token of offering, a hint that Raven was there and would remain until Neil didn’t need her to be anymore. 

She had always known when Neil’s panic was beginning to overflow his already cracked and crumbled glittering chalice of emotions. 

Instead of trying to make him swallow the excess, gulping down the mind-numbing panic until it was no longer Neil’s main fixation, just a sidelong problem that would have been dealt within the privacy of a dingy motel bathroom without the prowling eyes of his mother’s harsh, hysteric and inconsiderate gaze on him, only concerned about squashing even the most minute weakness that might have lead to their imminent deaths.

Except, Raven hadn’t done that, she had been there with a vessel, not as extensively full as Neil’s, with just enough space left over to catch and pour the excess of his panic and anxiety into her own chalice, soothing his worries with hushed reassurances that his mother would never waste the energy to expel to him. Raven was a terrifyingly strong anchor for Neil whenever he required her presence, even in his worst moments of consternation, she could always persuade him down from the frightful highs of their living nightmares. 

_ They could have this then, right?  _ Neil thought.

For the short while that presented itself, Raven and Neil could be here, at Palmetto State, playing Exy together; with a roof under their heads and a set of keys that weighted the frayed pocket of his jeans. They were a reminder that someone had cared just enough to reach out and give them a lifeline, a tether to safety when they were barely hanging onto the frayed tips of the dead-end of a rope that had never been attached to anything other than their collective, unyielding disposition to live. 

Taking a final deep breath, Neil opened his eyes, taking a look around the brightly lit field of the court once again; Neil knew deep down that this was the right choice, the alternative was one that led only to his and Raven’s death’s, hacked apart by his father’s gleaming cleaver with Raven’s mother and her lackey’s, as all too willing accomplices. 

Neil hopelessly needed this, to be able to play with Raven, and would rather damn whatever consequences they may have to overcome. Rather than let themselves become two more inconsequential names written in dried crimson, alongside the thousands of forgotten victims that had lost their lives due to the hands of the infamous Butcher.

So, for the next three weeks, Neil and Raven would be alone with Andrew’s pack, only having to deal with them when the pair would absolutely have to, dealing with the less than savory living arrangements with the older man as the time of their arrival required them to. 

Then come June, the rest of the foxes would arrive and they would be able to live in the Fox tower, as well as finally beginning the summer practice before the school term began in August. Neil and Raven would utilize every second proffered and would not exercise the key ringed trust that was given without a second's hesitation for granted.

“Geez,” Nicky said, who in question, was shifted sidelong on the court’s entrance door. “No wonder he was dead set on you two.” 

Nicky’s observation went over Neil’s already overly loaded mind, the words a minor mess among his scrambled thoughts. Neil labeled the remark as irrelevant since it held little to no meaning to what they were here to do, which was to play.

As if Kevin had read Neil’s mind, he pointed towards the way they’d entered; making a rather irritating movement with his right hand as he did so, gesturing towards the cousins, he said.

“Give them their gear,” Kevin stated, eyes trained Raven and Neil.

When they once again entered the “foyer”, they were met with the vast emptiness of the space and the bleak, quiet that surrounded them; with Andrew nowhere to be found, He hadn’t followed them into the stadium when they had initially entered, but he also hadn’t appeared in the foyer either. 

Neil didn’t care, quite candidly, at all, where Andrew had gone. Neil supposed that with the recent twist and turn of events that Andrew and his lot had prompted, Neil and Raven needed to be even more conscious about what they said and did around Andrew and his family and that would also require keeping slight tabs on where they were when Neil and Raven were around them.

The cousins guided them towards the Locker rooms, gesturing towards the Women’s room that was situated just across from the Men’s. Raven frowned for a moment, eyes flicking from Neil to the cousins.

“We’ve already set up your gear,” Nicky said, providing Raven with a small smile. “Everything should be all packed up and ready in the locker that’s assigned to you. It should be right next to Dan’s. Once you’re all set, we’ll meet back in the foyer.”

Neil could tell that she wasn’t approving of the arrangement once again; he then quickly nudged her elbow and gave a prompt nod as soon as Nicky’s back was turned. It would be taken as a symbol that he would be fine for a couple of moments without her on guard by his side; in succession, Raven traded him a mirrored movement, then turned into the Women’s room, eye achingly orange door swinging shut as she did so.

Neil aimed towards the opposite changing room, following after the cousins, already anticipating what he would find once inside; during the few weeks before their arrival in South Carolina; Hernandez and Coach Wymack had reconvened with Neil and Raven on the matter of picking the sizing of their required gear and uniforms for various activities that they would need so that they would be able to play efficiently. 

Neil could assuredly say that it was the one and only time that he had enjoyed picking out his own clothes, regardless of the honesty within his statement, he could practically hear Raven’s imagined scoff from inside the other changing room. 

Once inside, Neil was greeted with the sight of, even more orange, that basically painted the entire locker room from head to toe, blinding Neil with the neon overexposure. Squinting his eyes slightly he began to note everything around him. 

The lockers were huge and bulky, labeled with the names of the current playing Foxes and their numbers; there was at least thirty or so in the space, most of which were empty and unmarked. Understandably so, due to the slim margin of players the Foxes had on their roster. Through the doorway, at the back, Neil could see sinks and he assumed the showers were around the corner and not within his line of vision. Neil continued on, searching for his assigned locker.

Neil finally found his bulky compartment towards the back of the room, and identified in freshly engraved white, was his name and number,  _ Josten, #10.  _

Seeing the false name he had adopted without a second thought, haphazardly chosen out of the numerous artificial identifications that were hidden within a string of codes, made him feel sick with the dizzy sensation of pure, unadulterated yearning that enveloped his entire body. 

At the time he had thought that Neil Josten and Raven Lirette would be the last false masks they would ever have to disguise behind, in truth, Neil still believed that; Seeing his name engraved into something that was semi-permanent made Neil feel seen, as though he had finally reached the holy steps that led into the tower of the divine.

Within the locker, held clothes and gear that was solely his to wear and to own; gear that was required to be adorned for a game that he had dreamed about for a decade whilst on the run; the possibility of even picking up a racquet again, a mere miracle for Neil. The fact that not only was he able to play again, he also would have Raven by his side while doing it.

The cognizance of this sent sparks coursing through his bones, enflaming his heart and his mind, making his blood boil beneath his veins with the newfound impulse to continue on; the hesitation and indecisiveness burned away, shoved deep down in between the crusty brown leather seats of the inflamed vehicle that had erased his mother’s physical existence; but the deep twilight of that night and the unrelenting strikes from his mother’s hands would forever remain a never-ending scar, trailing all along the inside anatomy of his body; a mark that he could not only remember but one that Neil feel the phantom touch of in tandem.

Shaking himself free from the ashes that belonged to the long-dead, Neil began to carefully unravel the folded pieces of clothes; upon doing so, Neil discovered that the pieces were different variations of bright orange; one, in particular, was a windbreaker that looked as though it was made out of the molten sun itself.

“What does he expect us to do with this?” Neil said, squinting as he looked at the carrot tinged jacket clenched within his palm. “Stop traffic with these?” 

Nicky turned and looked at what Neil was remarking upon, and soon laughed.

“Yeah, Dan ordered them her very first year here,” He said, “Said that she was sick and tired of fading into the background, being ignored just because of numbers that were created only to benefit the wealthy and accost those who aren’t fortunate enough to fit the ‘good’ and predominately white and straight image that Exy likes to present itself to the press, and basically everyone else who watches sports.” 

Nicky took to fingering the waterproof material of the windbreaker, eyes drawn downwards as if to avoid the confrontation of his own souring emotions or provide a slight covering from Neil’s watchful gaze; Neil supposed it could be both.

“Everyone wants us to disappear, or become someone else’s problem to deal with. When they themselves don’t want to take the steps to build us up, make us better. Yet they criticize us and question our methods just because it’s different then what is socially acceptable to them.” 

Nicky’s expression lifted then, transforming from one of melancholic scrutiny, into the cheery mask that Neil was beginning to become well acquainted with; the feeling of hiding behind a veil was one that he himself knew intimately. 

“You know we donate a portion of ticket sales to charity? Our tickets cost a little more than anyone else’s because of it. Renee’s idea. I told you she was the complete opposite of Allison. Anyways, let’s go get you dripped and ready to play in your new fox attire before Kevin pops a blood vessel.” 

He turned back toward his own myriad of gear related items just then, so Neil gathered what he needed and headed towards the bathroom stalls he had discovered a few moments earlier.

Changing into his gear had always been a feat that Neil had hated, the stalls were cramped and uncomfortable, no matter the slight height he had been unfortunately stuck with. Over the past year or so, he had gotten the seemingly acrobatic and exhausting experience of changing into his gear, down to a masterfully crafted art form. 

Once Neil’s top half of the gear was complete, he did a few experimental twists to check if everything was secure. Deciding that he was good to go, he headed toward the main locker room so that he could change into the bottom half of his gear; He traded jeans for shorts first, then sat on one of the benches to hook his shin guards into place. He covered those with long socks and put on scuff-free court shoes. He pulled thin cotton gloves on, snapping them closed just above his elbows, and strapped arm guards onto his forearms. He left his outer gloves by his helmet where he could carry them down to the court and pulled his bangs up under an orange bandanna. 

The last thing to put on was his neck guard, a thin band with a tricky clasp. It was a pain to deal with and occasionally made him feel like he was choking, but it was worth putting up with if it’d protect his throat from a stray ball. 

They headed back to the foyer, where Raven was waiting for them; she was leaned back against the wall closest to the gear closet; bulky gear fully adorned as well, matching orange bandanna, to the one that Neil wore currently, drawing back the long curly tendrils of brown hair that usually caused her a great deal of pain, due to the habit of it falling into her face constantly. 

She looked over Neil’s form, up and down; making sure there were no obvious signs of harm on his body. Neil felt a swell of emotion, one that was kin to appreciation and provided her with another nod; Raven stared into his eyes for a moment before returning the notion. 

Nicky went to unlock the gear closet, with the required key that was provided by Neil. Once unlocked, Aaron went to retrieve the orange bucket of balls that would be used for today’s practice while Nicky, began rolling out the white stick rack, that held Raven and Neil’s brand new racquets. 

The racquets were arranged by numerical order, with two sets for each player. Neil reached out and picked one up, testing the weight and feel of the equipment, giving it a slow spin as he did so; in the corner of his eye, he saw Raven doing the same. They were dark orange with a single white stripe at the base of the head and white rope netting. It smelled brand new and felt like a dream, and it was all he could do to keep from smashing the taut net against his face. 

They had always been given hand me downs their entire lives; shopping for clothes at thrift stores and gritty little department stores that sold cheap and affordable options. Back in Arizona, they had been given the leftover tester racquets, they had been scuffed and in some places chipped at the very base of the handle; these, however, were brand new and were designated specifically, for Raven and Neil. 

Kevin was right where they had left him, brooding silently in the inner ring; eyes intent on Raven and Neil as they silently began to strap on their gloves and helmets and continued to remain silent as Aaron led them to the home court entrance. Neil used his key to unlock the door then stuffed the ring inside the left glove of his hand; just in case.

As the door began to come to a close behind them, Neil’s confusion had reached its peak, completely addled by the brooding front that Kevin seemed keen with intent on keeping up.

Neil looked at Nicky and asked, “Is Kevin not going to play today?”

Nicky looked nonplussed by Neil’s inquiry, not expecting him to ask most likely. “You two will soon learn that the princess only graces the court’s presence when, A. He’s alone or B. When Andrew is on it as well. Come this fall, he’ll have to get over it since Renee’s going to be goalie during the games, for now, however,” Nicky then transformed his features into one of a pinched and upturned scowl, tuning the notes of his voice until it scarcely resembled that of a haughty, atrocious British accent. “His highness will continue to act like we need to kiss thy royal ring before speaking to his royal arsed-ness.” 

“Then where’s Andrew?” Chimed Raven, readjusting her gloves as she did so, trying to hide the right side of her mouth that kicked up ever so slightly, exhibiting that she found Nicky’s antics to be somewhat amusing.

“Most likely comatose on a lounge chair somewhere,” Nicky said, suddenly serious once again. “He just dosed up, so he has to reboot his senses back into crazy mode.” 

“He’s not crazy now?” Neil asked.

“Crazy? Nah,” Nicky said. “But if you asked me if he was soulless, then it would be an entirely different conversation.”

Neil turned towards Aaron, Expecting him to defend his doppelganger; Neil knew that he had defended Raven on countless different occasions for much less. Instead, he continued on, aiming for the half-way court. Brushing aside the oddity that had just occurred; Neil and Raven kept pace with Nicky, Neil picking at the strongly netted material pf his racquet, restlessness once again in overdrive now that he was actually equipped and ready to play. 

“Kevin can’t actually play though, right?” Raven inquired, slowly spinning her racquet as she questioned the back liner. “The media and the ravens’ fans practically suffered through an epidemic of mass heart attacks. Practically every news source said it would be a wonder if he ever picked up a racquet again.”

“His left hand is basically useless,” Nicky said. “He’ll continue to play with his right from now on.”

Neil and Raven’s eyes both jerked up to meet each other’s’ gaze, beyond astounded with the newfound information about the champion striker.

“What?” Nicky said, eyes flicking between the pair in confusion before his expression turned into one of giddy excitement; overjoyed with the prospect of having revealed the unexpected news. Grinning, he resumed speaking, “They don’t call him an obsessive-compulsive genius for nothing.”

“It’s definitely not genius,” Aaron said. “It’s pure spite, If anyone would learn how to continue to play a game with their non-dominant hand, it would be Kevin.” 

“That too,” Nicky said. “What I would pay to see the look on Riko’s face when he sees our first game. Do you think he’d punch the air? I think he would, I would for sure pay at least a cool...one-hundred?” 

Just then, Kevin pounded against the plexiglass in demand that they keep going, successfully interrupting Nicky’s tangent. 

Nicky, in turn, threw up both of his hands and flipped Kevin off; “We’re doing this in our spare, time you know!” 

“Thank you,” Neil said belatedly, guilt coating the inside of his throat.

“Aw, don’t worry about it,” Nicky said, then provided Neil with a wink. “You can make it up to me when the other’s aren’t around.” 

“Enough bullshit. Let’s play, yeah?” Raven said, using the head of her racquet, she scooped up one of the balls out of the bucket that Aaron had just set down, and stepped onto stepped further into the court. 

The next hour and a half or so was spent teaching Raven and Neil drills, most of which they had mastered previously in Arizona, while the rest were ones that they hadn’t been taught yet; which sent a shock of elation through his body, the prospect of finally learning something new after so long off the court, a consolation. 

They ended with a short scrimmage, two strikers against two backliners and an open goal. Neil and Raven were by far the better players on the court, with their combined speed and strength in the conjoined mind that Neil and Raven seemed to share, the other aware of the formers next move before they had even made to execute it yet, marking them as an unmatched combination compared to the two backliners on the court. Nevertheless, Aaron and Nicky were still far greater than most of the Highschoolers that played on the old Arizona Dingos team.

Aaron called them to a stop at last and Neil caught the ball on a rebound. When he dropped it into the bucket the others started unstrapping their helmets. 

Neil squished down a flare of disappointment that they were done so soon, but he wouldn’t push them to play any longer; Nicky had already said that they were giving up their summer break to play with Raven and Neil.

“Wow, Kevin made it seem like you two were some of the worst players he had ever encountered in all of Exy,” Nicky said, cheek smeared against his jersey, trying to wipe away the copious amounts of sweats that was now swathed along his hairline. “But you guys are really, really good.” 

“At least the two of you won’t drag us down,” Aaron said, “It won’t be much longer until you guys are ready for us to debut the both of you. I can see why the hard-ass chose you pair all people.”

Over the progressive years on the run, Neil and Raven had started to practice Exy anywhere they possibly could. In the grimy, inky black of the polluted back alleyways of whichever motel they were currently living in; On the barely green, grass splotched fields of local parks in the dawn of early mornings, just when the dew enriched every surface of the multi-hued earth in that area. 

They had only ever been supplied with their old mini racquets, both of which had been taken with them on the night that his mother had stolen them away; they had paired the racquets with a sad excuse of a ball that they had found in the dumpster one evening, it had been covered in filth and torn in some places but was quickly put to use; since Neil’s mother had strictly told them that it was foolish to waste the money that was stolen on trivial things that should be left in the past. 

Eventually, they outgrew the mini racquets and his mother became more vehement and paranoid in her violent episodes, so much so in fact, she had become even less inclined to let them practice and had only been allowing it in the first place since his mother had thought it would increase their stamina during their required training and defense lessons with her. 

They had been scarcely practicing when the time presented allowed them too until Raven had discovered a flyer promoting a community center on their daily commute to their high school, the paper had been painted a bright neon pink that was dotted and wilted in some places due to the condensation from being exposed to the elements; and in bold, black letters stated the location and name of the communal facility. 

The center had offered extracurricular activities, that included sports, to those who could not afford it, at the time the center had also established an Exy club that provided any and all equipment needed for the club and its members. 

The center had been located in the more refined part of whichever town they had been residing in, Neil surmised that since there were always several, sometimes dozens of moves into new towns at a time, he and Raven had begun to allocate their timeline into one that was dateless, a suffocating and painful sequence of events that were only categorized by their age or specific feeling they had had at that time. Causing Neil to remember only the look and atmosphere of the most significant of places.

Neil and Raven had created a schedule that was tailored to abide by their will, after school they would head straight out towards the communal center and practice there for approximately two hours before going back to the designated motel that they had been living in; they had been able to do so without much fuss due to his mother’s work schedule that required her to be on shift from nine to nine, the grueling hours did nothing to lessen the strain on his Mother, which made the falsity of where they were each day that much more dangerous. 

So, Neil and Raven had utilized the club’s Exy equipment almost every day after school; making up drills and integrating the old ones into the new, building their strength and expanding the sliver of muscle mass they had had at the time.

Raven and Neil had imagined themselves as Riko and Kevin; taking over the sport of Exy and claiming it as their own, leaving everyone around them in implausible awe. The only difference was, Kevin and Riko had had the world at their feet, with the stars within their crested palms and the divine knowledge that they would be one of the greats inscribed within their young minds. 

Whilst Neil and Raven were born of the gutter, bathed in false riches that were drenched with the blood of the innocent. Since their births, they had been destined to be inconsequential bystanders, both products of hate and scorn, bonded together by the unfortunate tale of their lives. 

They were now mere faces amongst the masses, meant to be seen in passing and to be remembered without much recollection, a dream one had had and then merely forgotten once awake; that was the truth of their existence and the difference between the destined.

  
  


One day, his mother had been uncharacteristically early from her job at the corner store, and Neil and Raven just so happened to be deep in practice with some of the other club’s members; completely unaware that his mother had been on the outskirts of a panic attack, her mind jumping to the absolute worse possible scenarios of where Raven and most of all, Neil was. 

When they had entered the hotel room at the usual time, Raven and Neil had felt rejuvenated after their successful joint practice. Neil had felt his skill become stronger within his throws and passes, and he had been excited and eager to play for the first time since they had left Edgar Allen’s obsidian walls; but that eagerness and enthusiasm swiftly fell away, replaced with sick repulsion at the sight of his mother in their shared motel room.

Upon noticing their arrival, his mother had stormed toward Raven and had kicked her so inordinately hard in the abdomen that Neil himself had felt the blow as if it were his own body being knocked without breath, sent into an agonizing spiral of pain. Neil had never seen his mother so livid, she had been so incredibly deep-rooted in the pit of her seething rage, that she rivaled even the butcher in that moment.

That day they had packed up their meager belongings and left the states, headed for Germany; Neil and Raven had left with an immeasurable amount of bruises and welts, that puckered and stung hotly, pulsating a painful beat after each breath he took. Neil recalled how they had not faded or healed for several weeks thereafter. 

His mother had been blunt and unapologetic when explaining the terms of her warning abridgment to the pair; if they continued to practice or associate themselves with Exy in any way, shape or form, they were to leave behind Raven, condemning her to a fate that they themselves had traveled far and wide to evade the clutches of. 

Neil had felt immense hate for his mother at that moment, he still did, his mother had been trying to cut any and all loose ends connecting them to their old life, and that included Raven; the only bit of good in Neil’s life; the only person who seemed to care for him when even his own mother had never seemed to have a caring bone in her body; he could not actually recall a time when she had ever touched him affectionately in a natural, motherly manner.

It was only after she had died that Neil and Raven began playing Exy again religiously, joining the Arizona Dingo’s team and dedicating all of their time practicing and training; not to gain attention for the scouting season, quite the opposite, but because they had felt at home whilst playing Exy; when Neil and Raven had never had a solid domain where they were able to feel any sort of comfort. The familiarity and the seemingly effortless way Raven and Neil played together only strengthened their will to play, eradicating any sense of self-preservation that they may have had left.

In due terms, the pair had once again conformed seamlessly into the rough and at times, stringent sport.

“Ah, speak of the devils,” Nicky said suddenly, corraling Neil from his dreadfully long ad horrific tangent of thought. Raven nudged Neil until his eyes focused onto her brown ones; he nodded once, then shook his head to try to clear out the rest of the cobwebbed drowsiness from within the inky maze of his mind. 

Raven did not move until she had stared long into his eyes; after a second, seemingly satisfied with what she saw, she moved away but only by a step or two, within reaching distance if he needed her. 

“Seems like a certain manic someone and their royal arse-ness wants to get their hands on the two of you.” Nicky finished.

Neil and Raven both turned towards where Nicky was indicating; Andrew had reappeared and was lying flat on his back on the home bench, playing catch with a spare ball. Kevin had gotten his racquet at some point and was spinning it as he watched them. With half the court and a half-inch-thick wall between them, Neil could still feel Kevin’s stare like a physical weight. 

“I bid you farewell, brave young soldiers,” Nicky said, one hand over his chest whilst the other, dabbed at faux tears from the corner of his eyes. “I recommend for the two pf you to fear for your lives; Kevin is a hard-ass at the tamest of times but a complete and utter dick when it comes to Exy. He can, and will piss off anyone on and off an Exy court; that includes Andrew over there as well, even when he’s not sober. Although, Kevin hasn’t managed to piss off Renee yet; and as I advised the two of you earlier, she’s basically like Jesus. If Jesus were a five-foot-five, pastel haired Asian woman.” 

“I thought his medicine made that out of the question for him,” Neil said, oddly curious.

“Uh, let’s just say that Spring was a whole, ‘let’s learn from this but never do it again’ type of experience,” Nicky said. “Although, that day was kind of glorious. I’d bet good money that Andrew would have beaten Kevin to death if he hadn’t thrown Andrew’s racquet across the court floors. I’m genuinely excited to see how the two of you will handle it.” 

“Gee, what an absolute delight this is going to be,” Raven said, grabbing the balls bucket and following them off the court. Neil agreed with her, this was going to be an unadulterated disaster; with the pair’s lack of patience with taking unnecessary bullshit, combined with the delightful ray of sunshine that was Kevin Day, the three strikers would likely be at each other’s throats within a couple of practices; if they were lucky. 

Andrew sat up as the court door banged closed behind them and tossed his ball to Nicky. He’d brought the whiskey with him and left it on the ground by his feet. Now he scooped it up and twisted the lid off. 

“Ah, Nicky! My dreadfully annoying cousin,” Andrew said, “It was ever so boring waiting for you to finish with the new kits of the fox litter, do be quicker next time yes? Yes.” 

“Okay, that stings. We’re done now though,” Nicky said, hooking his helmet over the end of his racquet so he could reach for the whiskey. “So, how about we stop jugging down the whiskey at twelve in the afternoon? If Abby finds out you were mixing the pills with hard liquor, I’m going to be beaten silly.” 

“Oh?” Andrew said, spitefully beginning to take even more generous swallows than the former ones. “How sorry not sorry I am, but that sounds like an entirely Nicky related problem.” 

Andrew then wiped his mouth with a clean swipe from his backhand; revealing a brilliant grin, as cunning and just as predatory as before. Neil was unable to staunch the slight shiver of unease that coursed through him; raising the hair on his forearms in result.

Nicky looked to Aaron for help, but Aaron went ahead of them to the locker room. Nicky mimed blowing his own brains out and went with him. Neil made to go towards the cousins but was instead yanked by the collar of his jersey, he turned to reveal the culprit, who was, of course, Raven but Neil took in the rigid line of her shoulders and the way she stared down Kevin, her eyes never leaving his; and once Neil’s gaze met Kevin’s, it was hard to look away again. 

Kevin’s face was set into an indecipherable mask, the expression written in the nonexistent lines of his face was one that seemed hooded and was not particularly happy nor displeased in any way. “This is going to be a very long season.” He said.

“I remember us telling you that we are not good enough to play alongside you,” Raven said.

“Yet here you are, in orange, both of you scrimmaging with two of our players, on our court.”

Neil and Raven remained silent, refusing to acknowledge the truth within Kevin’s statement. Instead, Kevin got right up into both their faces, clinging on to the netting of their racquets, when Kevin started to pull away, they both held on tighter; refusing to let go of their newly acquired possessions. Kevin probably could have wrenched it away if he tried a little harder, but he seemed content just to hold on

“If you won’t play with me, you’ll play for me,” Kevin said. “You’re never going to get there on your own, so give your games to me.”

“Where is ‘there’ exactly?” Raven said. wrenching the racquet from withing Kevin’s hand and taking a step back. 

Neil knew that she had always hated being in close proximity with others, and she especially hated it when they entered her personal space without explicit permission. Anyone who was unfortunate enough to do so usually got a swift kick to areas that should otherwise not be kicked violently, and to those who were even more persistent, usually got a knife lodged into one of their limbs. 

“If players with that of even your skill can’t figure it out then this is hopeless,” 

The stared back at him in shared silence, Neil was almost positive that the ‘there’ that Kevin all to easily praised did not apply to either of them. Kevin must have sensed their irritation by their combined cross expressions, unimpressed with elder strikers supposed ‘pep talk’ because he reached up and covered Neil’s eyes with his free hand, or at least he tried to but was quickly shut down by Raven knocking said hand away, whilst providing Kevin with a glare that no doubt could have incinerated his soul. 

Kevin huffed and shook his head, Neil probably guessed that he was at the height of his irritation with the pair, but he still settled on gripping the netting of Neil’s racquet even tighter instead. “Just close your eyes,” He said, “Forget the stadium,  Forget the Foxes and your useless high school team and your family. See it the only way it really matters, where Exy is the only road to take. What do you see?” 

Imagining their lives in such simplistic terms made Neil want to laugh right in Kevin’s privileged face,  He kept the vicious twist of his mouth off his face through sheer willpower alone, on Neil’s right-hand side he could see Raven narrow her eyes, expression incredulous. In turn, Kevin gave both of their racquets a harsh tug, Kevin having to reach for Raven’s again in succession.

“Focus,”

Feeding the idea of Neil Josten and Raven Lirette into the belly of the carnivorous beast that was his innermost desires, was almost mockingly easy, so much so that Neil resented the feeling immediately, he had rejected the hope for so long, it had felt like taking the first few sips of cool liquid after bordering on the precipice of dehydration; searching for any and all signs of salvation to shield you from your fate and then recovering it. He wanted this even more than before, now that Kevin had displayed the feast that was Exy in front of them, Neil wanted this so bad he could taste it.

“You,” Neil and Raven both said at last. Kevin pulled at their racquets again, and this time they let go. 

“Tell me I can have your game.”

It wouldn’t do them any good, but Neil wasn’t going to get into that. “Take it,” Neil said, watching the way Raven bobbed her head at Kevin, face expressionless.

“See, they get it,” Kevin said, dropping his hands and sending Andrew a pointed look.

“Ah, well I suppose they do! Congratulations are in order I guess, but since I sadly could give less of a fuck myself, I will merrily relay along the message to the other foxes and propose they do so appropriately,” Andrew pushed himself to his feet and swallowed more whiskey on the way up. “Neil and Raven! Hello. We meet again.” 

The pair remained silent, unable to connect this version to the one who they had just confronted not even an hour ago. 

Andrew grinned at them around the amber rim of the bottle, “Don’t be so frigid, you two were so full of surprises before, don’t become boring now. If this becomes even duller than it already is, I’m afraid I’m going to puke; and what a shame it would be to puke without me even being sober and going through withdrawal, the irony!” 

“He’s high,” Kevin told Neil. “He tells me when he’s sober, so I always know. How did you figure it out?”

“They’re twins but their not the same,” Raven said, head tilted and eyes trained on the goalkeeper, “One has a passive nature towards your overzealous obsession with Exy whilst the other passionately doesn’t give a fuck about it.” 

Kevin turned towards Andrew, trying to gauge his reaction, but Andrew only had his eyes for Raven. Andrew stared for a few seconds, trying to gather the information in his drugged state of mind. “She’s a comedian too? A bodyguard, athlete and a comedic genius and a student! How very multitalented. What great additions to the fox line up, If birdy here can do so much, I’m shaking with excitement about what Neil can do. Perhaps we should throw a foxy themed talent show and find out? But later. Kevin, we’re going. I need food.”

Kevin handed Neil and Raven their respective racquets back and the four of them headed towards the locker rooms; Raven splitting off into the women’s and the three of them into the latter changing room.

It wasn’t until he was in the blocked off shower stalls, separate from all the rest, that Neil allowed the severity of their situation to sink in; they had a plan, one that was false and ungrounded; but was one regardless, and so for the time being, Raven and Neil belonged somewhere and were able to do the one thing that they savored above all else, and that in itself was a feat for the pair.

  
  
  


  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yayy, I hope you enjoyed this extraaaa long chapter! I'm the only one who edits and writes this fic so it would very much be appreciated leave me kudos and comments <3 (they really have kept me motivated to continue on with this fic in moments of self angst, so I really do appreciate it.)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn more about Raven.
> 
> Trigger Warnings:  
Mentions of sexual assault and rape. (This will be a topic that will be talked about throughout the fic, so expect canon but a lil more in detail.)  
Child abuse.

* * *

Abby’s home, whilst quaint, was also inviting; it felt lived in, freshly worn through by age that suited the space handsomely. The walls were a soft white that glowed luminescent in the mid-afternoon summer sun, the air freshly tinged with the fragrant aroma of food that was freshly being prepared; If Raven knew what a home truly felt like, she imagined it would be something akin to that of Abigail Winfield’s.

The journey to the Nurse’s home had been cramped and ever so fucking painful to endure; the air that emanated from everyone was a toxic mixture of anxiety, hostility, and quiet danger that was barely identifiable underneath Nicky and Kevin’s loud tremors of stress that poured from the layers of their skin and rubbed onto Raven’s, unwelcomed and uninvited. The quiet danger emanated from Andrew, but Raven as well.

It was in her nature to identify the sense she had grown uncomfortably close to, and it was incredibly evident that it was nestled into Andrew’s very being; the manic mask, a simple veil that hid but did not contain his anger nor his hazardous tendencies. 

Raven would be lying if she said she wasn’t at all interested to see how they would clash when the time revealed itself.

Raven and Neil were the first to find Abby and Wymack in the semi-modern kitchen; they had been deep in conversation; one that had clearly been pleasant. Raven could tell by the way their faces were pressed just scant inches away from the other, fleeting warm and fond smiles traded between the two. Anyone with eyes could tell they were intimate with one another and if nothing else, they were infatuated.

Raven thought that Nicky’s use of bets was unneeded, all one had to do was simply look at what rested neatly on the surface, she regarded belatedly. 

Abby’s face was aglow with red, which dotted her cheeks faintly; she had shoulder-length, honey-colored hair that was almost the color of bleached brass. Her eyes a faint emerald, jade almost. 

The color of her eyes clashed strongly against her light olive-toned skin, making her eyes seem bleached and pastel. She was beautiful, and It was abundantly clear that Coach Wymack was in complete reverence of the nurse. 

The pair broke away hastily, fast enough that it was almost comical, once the rest of them filed into the joint kitchen/dining room; Wymack took to rustling through the nearest cabinet, grumbling softly under his breath as he did so. Whilst Abby took an even less subtle approach than the former and had begun to stir through the inside contents of a nearby pot, humming tunefully, the hummed notes, a tad too breathless to be nonchalant.

The assemblage broke into two once they had fully entered the space; while Neil and Raven stood ponderously near the entryway whilst the others situated themselves within their respective tasks; Raven supposed they had done this too many times to count, now it was just muscle memory, an instinct. 

Raven traded Neil a look, a signature raise of a brow and the curled downturn of her lips. She knew that they were majorly out of place; so much so, in fact, they were standing off to the side like socially inept idiots. Raven couldn’t say she could form a rebuttal that contradicted the fact that they weren’t socially inept anyways. 

She also could easily admit that she didn’t care at all what they looked like, if only in the sense that they wouldn’t bring unneeded attention to themselves; in this particular case, the attention of curious eyes would be solely rested on the pairing. 

Raven’s skin felt itchy, her forearms alight with goosebumps and anxiousness, she had never liked feeling caged in, in this particular environment, she was feeling just that, caged in. 

“Raven. Neil,” Wymack said, in lieu of welcome, her ears felt prickly, annoyingly startled by their coach’s deep voice. He and Abby had switched places and he was now standing over the gas-lit stove, with a spatula in hand and a black apron wrapped around his solid waist that read, ‘Your Opinion Wasn’t in the Recipe’ Raven thought he looked both ridiculous and imposing.

“You two can make yourselves useful and help Nicky with the setting.” He finished.

“Hey! I’ll have you know that just because I caused a small, and I mean minor, kitchen fire once while trying to boil rice for Abby, doesn’t mean I am completely helpless, Coach.” Nicky said, glass plate waving around in one hand as he talked, his posturing tone closely resembling one of whining.

“Ah, Nicky? How about we, not wave around the porcelain?” Abby interrupted, motioning for Nicky to set the plate down in it’s designated spot. “You do remember the ceiling light incident?” Nicky blushed a deep shade of cerise, giving Abby a meek and apologetic smile, he carefully set down the plate, the porcelain clinking against the dark hardwood as a result. 

“See? I stand by what I said, you are a living safety hazard.” Wymack said, back turned towards the stove, his bulky frame still wrapped with the black apron. Raven still thought he looked ridiculous, even if a curl of unease settled in between her bones, a habit that had seemed to adhere to her very core, a habit that had not faded, even after nearly a decade away from the cause of it. “You two, stop filling up space and help set the table.” 

“David,” Abby said, her expression crossed and pinched. It distorted her lovely features in a way that made her look non-intimidating rather than imposing. Raven thought it suited her a warm aesthetic, but only begrudgingly. “There are guests here, which means what? We behave, right?”

“I must be blind because I don’t see any guests here.” He said, “Neil and Raven are foxes, part of the team. Which means they don’t get any special treatment. I’ll be damned if I change my attitude, and come this June, they start acting all pissy because I start treating them like the rest of the foxes.”

“David? Shut up and actually pay attention to stirring those green beans instead of going on unwanted rants that only you are listening to.” she said, “Kevin, check the bread, remember to poke the middle if it’s not done. Nicky, how did you even- Aaron help him? Andrew Minyard, I swear on everything that is in my power-I will flay you alive if that’s what I think it is.” 

Andrew grinned blindingly and hopped down from the counter before taking off down the hall, Raven wondered how someone with such small legs could be so swift on their feet; she then retracted her idiotic thought because of the living enigma that was Neil Josten. 

As if sensing Raven’s inner monologue, he turned and glared up at her. She raised a brow at him, daring Neil to oppose, he soon then deflated. She nudged him subtly in turn; it was always mockingly easy to rile him up, especially when it came to the matter of his height or lack thereof.

Abby turned her jade green gaze towards Nicky, every line and curve of her body telling the distressing tale of her unveiled incredulity and exasperation. Nicky audibly gulped, his adam's apple convulsing in the wake of the enhanced movement.

“Well, Abby. Queen. You know how he gets.” He said, one hand running through the rebellious coils of his jet black curls tensely. “I think both myself and Erik would much rather prefer if the fruits of my nether region remained….Oh, I don’t know, attached to my body?!”

“How are we related? Just how?” Aaron said. His hands over his ears and a pained expression painted across his face. Raven could at least expend some sort of sliver of sympathy towards Aaron, but not much. She was rather intrigued by the familial relationship dynamic that the cousins unawarely presented.

“Wow Nicky,” Abby said, tone dry. “Thank you for that vivid and entirely unwanted anatomy lesson of your, as you put it, ‘nether region.’ I think we would all prefer if that were the last time you ever relayed that information to us, yes?” 

“That I can do.” He said, easy grin firmly back in place, his relief from narrowly avoiding the wrath of the team nurse, largely evident. 

“You must be Raven and Neil. I am Abby Winfield, the team nurse for the foxes. I guess you could also say that I am their babysitter. Dealing with assholes whilst patching them up daily is my specialty, I suppose.” 

“Damn right,” Wymack muttered, back still turned towards the industrial stove.

“That includes you, David.” She said, the pleasant smile never waning on her symmetrical face, her light eyes never leaving Raven or Neil’s. 

“I hope they haven’t caused you guys too much trouble?” She barrelled on, ignoring Wymack’s quiet scoff of protest. “They can be...eccentric to say the least.” 

“Have faith,” Andrew said, His voice ringing through the halls. “These two won’t break so easily, but I have a pension for making people see what needs to be seen; so you will only have to wait until August; if all goes according to plan.” 

“Andrew, I swear if we have a repeat of that complete disaster from last year-“ 

“Then Bee will undoubtedly be here to piece back together the shards and annoyingly tiny sharp bits from whatever’s left of their mental states,” Andrew said, sliding into the doorway next to Raven. He had only eyes for Abby, as he spread the palms of his hands in her direction, indicating that he was alcohol-free. “Look at Matt, all shiny and brand new. Bee worked her magic with him and he’s never been better. So Neil and Raven won’t even be a twinkle in her eye. You did have the courtesy to invite her, didn’t you?” 

“Yes, I had the courtesy and she kindly declined.” She said, a slight pinch appearing in the middle plane of her eyebrows. “She said it would be distasteful to meet two eventual clients in a setting that was unconventional.” 

“Meaning she thought it would be awkward.” Aaron inquired, his statement sounding flat and apathetic.

“Meaning just that,” Abby sighed.

“She’s not wrong. Never seems to be either,” Wymack said painstakingly, dishing the green beans into a nearby serving bowl and handing it off to Aaron. “Everything is always awkward when Andrew and Nicky are within a six-foot radius from anyone else.” 

“Coach! What did I do to deserve this truly heinous treatment!” Nicky said, beyond exasperated.

“Save your big words for someone who actually has the capacity and desire to understand them,” Wymack said. “Also,’Nether Region’?” 

“Fair point, fair point,” Nicky repeats, cheekbones and the edges of his ears turning a peculiar shade of vermillion, his head bobbing awkwardly, in what Raven supposed was due to the light of his previous, foolishly laid out statements. Raven snorted silently and turned her attention elsewhere. 

Andrew completely disregarded the blatant scorn from their coach, instead, he walked toward the freezer; pulling open the drawer and sifting through its frozen contents before pulling out a tub of ice cream. Salted caramel crunch, the bright navy blue label read.

Raven’s mouth practically salivated, until the midget contaminated it, digging into the creamy, crunchy gooey-ness with his short and undoubtedly grimy fingers. Raven watched in silent horror until Andrew caught her eyes and grinned maliciously. She then watched as Andrew hopped onto the marbled countertops and continued to dig into the frozen creamy delicacy. 

Raven’s stomach roiled at the display and she forced her gaze away from the sickening sight. 

“Bee?” Neil asked, his voice slightly tremorous, pitched with obvious disdain and curiosity.

“Oh! Yeah, Betsy Dobson is the campus psychiatrist.” Nicky supplies, “You’ll meet her in June since it’s mandatory for the team to have a simple, one on one check-in session with her. She’s pretty cool, I’m sure you guys will like her.” 

Raven felt as though they wouldn’t get along with Betsy Dobson, their ever so short track record with therapists was short for a reason; they had a pension to nose their way into deep-rooted traumas without ever notifying the unassuming holder of said traumas; their questions a mirrored kaleidoscope of possibilities that could undoubtedly lead to triggered recollections that should otherwise, undoubtedly, remain unearthed. 

Raven and Neil were all too aware of the power that psychiatrists held, they were able to see through and analyze their patients, entirely undetected. That skill was one the butcher and her mother alike had taken great interest in; hiring the more, quietly crooked, and unsavory ones in the field, the ones that were easily goaded by green paper and salacious promises that were unequivocally thorned. 

Psychiatrists were used as a way to ensure that Raven and Neil remained powerless, unheard and unseen, completely silenced in the midst of their trauma; they had been made to believe that it was normal, just a part of their daily lives. Their punishments hadn’t been a mere slap on the wrist, they were severe and harsh and god, so fucking painful; The worst part about all of it was the fear, the intense emotion that paralyzed your entire body and coated every corner of it with thick, hot terror. 

Raven recalled how her small, skinny legs had shaken as she took the marbled ivory steps toward The Butcher’s profligate suburban mansion as gradually as possible, drawing out the inevitable as long as she could without angering her mother, and Raven’s luck had always been ever so pitiful, so much so, in fact, it was almost facetiously easy to set the Butcher’s right hand off, it only took one slightly misplaced throw, kick or punch during one of Neil and Raven’s training sessions to do it, and each time they were met with a sickly sweet smile and the sharp press of a knife’s edge. 

Raven and Neil experienced execrable things in their lives, once daily, but now they lived in a sickly shadowed haze of constant fear, a lifestyle one that could not be foolishly labeled as mundane or ordinary by a medically licensed professional.

For most of her life, Raven had been forced to live with demons that were enforced upon her, Demons that made you scrub your skin clean until it burned an inky scarlet. She remembered the feel of unwanted, weighted hands-on soft skin, the feel and weight of another body caging against a much smaller one; the sense of fear and sick anticipation that had encased her lungs until each of her breaths were forcibly taken with care, trying to salvage and regulate the last inch of control she had had left in the situation. 

Raven knew that power was a material desire, and that power could come in all forms of life, no matter the size or significance of said power that one could hold, it was still power. There was a time in Raven’s life where power had been wielded by someone else as a way to make her feel powerless and empty, insignificant. Raven was not foolish or simple, she knew that just because she had felt powerless then and was away from the cause of it in the moment of today, did not mean that she wouldn’t ever feel that way again. 

What was suspending anyone else with a distorted agenda to commence the same harming remedies that were forced upon them a decade ago? No matter how ‘cool’ that certain someone presented themselves to be to the unassuming world, there was always that chance. Nine times out of ten, Raven and Neil were always dealing with the more unlucky side of that spectrum. 

Raven swore to herself that she would never feel that way again. If nothing else she would prevent Neil from ever feeling anything close, by any and all means necessary. Their promise be damned.

“Okay, it seems that everything is in order.” Raven heard Abby say, snapping her out of her useless train of thought. “Time to eat. Nicky, I know that you are not trying to grab a roll when your grimy fingers have not touched a single sud of soap, go wash. That goes for all you!” 

Raven traded Neil a significant look, an answer to the questioning crease of his eyebrows. He nodded and slightly bumped his shoulder along her back as they followed the rest toward the bathrooms to wash up. Raven felt a surge of comfort and was reaffirmed of her promise, even if it went against the one they had sworn on when they had been caged in adolescent fear. 

* * *

Raven and Neil spent that following morning searching the campus, acquainting themselves with the unfamiliar grounds. Raven, being the main one who recited the information and adjusted the new terrain into memory whilst Neil, unsurprisingly, strained his neck to ogle the orange-tinged far-away court from whichever distance they had been at the moment. Raven herself could not exactly fault Neil for his wandering interests since her mind had also been elsewhere. 

Palmetto State College, whilst not highly esteemed in the world of Exy, was actually a rather diverse school education-wise. The school offered almost every type of class that would interest a student wanting an array of potential career paths at their disposal. Neil being the one tracked minded wonder that he is, completely ignored the informational pamphlet that was given to them when they had first been signed, forgoing it in favor of diving headfirst in his Exy obsessed daydreams/nightmares. 

Raven had leafed through it, interested in what the actual education part of their Exy scholarship deal looked like. It had gone over the various courses that could be taken in order to fulfill your chosen major come late August, as well as the schedule, where to get the meal cards, etc. 

What Raven had been expressly interested in was The Department of the Arts, Palmetto State was majorly known for their offering of health professions and biomedical science courses, but Raven had been immediately drawn to the arts, and had recently been juggling between choosing a potential major in painting or drawing; she was even considering majoring in visual arts. Ever since that morning, she hadn’t been able to tear her gaze away from the art building, similar to how Neil couldn’t tear his away from the tangerine-colored stadium.

Furthermore, Raven had always held a certain devotion to art, she had relished getting lost within the story that a painting or sketch could tell, she was also interested in the history and how a certain brush stroke in an unprecedented place on canvas had sparked a sudden blooming renaissance within the world, changing the way that art was viewed entirely.

Whilst Raven had found the history behind the art entirely engrossing, she had come to love creating it herself even more. During their first few years on the run, Raven had only enough time to indulge herself in a quick sketch on whatever surface she could possibly get her hands on; black marker smudged against a brown paper napkin that she had snagged from a dispensary from a local gas station, doodles in her school notebook that often took up most of the paper’s space rather than actual notes. 

On one occasion, Neil had discovered her hobby by chance, and without remarking upon it, had shown up the next day with a sketchbook and sketching pencils, dropping them unceremoniously into her lap. When questioned on why he was giving them to her, he had said in turn: “Because I thought you’d like them.” Raven had been perplexed originally, she had never received a gift from anyone just because they had cared for her interests, it was always either for show or manipulation. Raven remembered cherishing Neil’s gifts until the sketchbook’s pages had worn thin and filled with lead sketches that grew more and more intricate as the months wore on. 

Eventually, Neil took notice of how she began to ration out the sketchbook’s pages; he would merely glance at her intricate work and the slim level of pages as they had begun to decline and would simply show up the next afternoon with freshly bought sketching paper and pencils. Neil had absolutely refused compensation for the gifts, but Raven knew how much he risked by going behind Mary’s back to buy ‘useless’ things. Instead, he had simply requested that Raven draw a portrait of him. As the years wore on, Neil had collected at least dozens of sketches that depicted his self-image, just bearing different masks.

One of Raven’s smallest victories in terms of significance, and one that Raven still celebrated today, was the fact that Mary had allowed her to pursue art class in High School. There, she was able to finally learn and become more acquainted with the intricate detailing that painting required, or at least the kind that Raven wanted to become skilled with. Raven found that she enjoyed depicting the faces of others to canvas the most, she also discovered the best pieces of work she had done was of people who held the rawest of emotions on their faces; completely open and unguarded, alive.

Now, Raven was under no qualms that Mary had suddenly had a change of heart and had begun to actually care for her and her curiosities. It was all about keeping Raven controlled, less inclined to retaliate against her if she expelled a minuscule and honestly laughable amount of effort, only in due terms if it manipulated Raven and benefited Mary in some way, because even if she didn’t want to admit it when she was alive, Mary had become somewhat reliant on Raven. 

Raven, whilst not liked at all by Mary was instead given a sort of shriveled and dried grapevine of trust that signaled an understanding between the two. 

Raven was an inherently skilled fighter and was even more skilled when it came to honing and handling weaponry, specifically knives, even though for a short while in the beginning, the thought of handling a blade similar to the ones her mother had used against Neil and herself, had Raven wanting to vomit until her insides caved in on themselves. 

Raven actually had the first time she had accidentally scraped Neil during one of their training sessions with Mary. Raven had swiped a bit too close and too fast in the direction of his midsection, causing Neil to react poorly to the swipe, he had no time to dodge or even redirect the hit entirely. She had become ill right then and there, the bleached grass field stained with her sick. Raven remembered that she hadn’t stopped apologizing to Neil even after the small scrape had scabbed over weeks later. 

Raven had supposed that at some point, Mary had realized something significant about their situation. Mary and Raven both had held a common interest, and it was keeping Neil safe. Raven would stop anything and everyone from harming him, and she had learned the skills in order to do so. Mary, on the other hand, had practically signed their death warrants by running in order to protect him and to some extent, to protect Raven too. 

So, Raven was then given the unspoken title as Neil’s protector when Mary wasn’t around to do so herself. Raven supposed that someone else would have felt jealousy or revulsion or even contempt if they were told to protect someone else when no one even bothered to protect you. Raven had never felt such a thing, not towards Neil, never towards Neil. She had watched over him, not because Mary had told her or wanted her to do it; but because Neil was possibly the only person in the world that she loved wholeheartedly, and could wager in confidence that he felt the same towards her, if not unconditionally. 

* * *

“Raven,” Neil said, nudging his companion’s shoulder slightly as they walked towards the stadium. They were a bit early as well, Neil could only imagine what Kevin would say if they were late, not that he cared in the slightest, but being late would only further the headache and bad mood he was currently in. Neil just wanted to soothe his anxieties by finally playing again. 

“Hm?” She inquired, breaking out of her daze with a quick shake of her head, long curls bouncing along as she did so. “Did you say something?”

“Are you alright?” Neil asked, concern forming in the shape of a frown, he could feel it, so he tried to smooth his expression out somewhat. He knew that Raven didn’t like it when he worried too much. 

“Oh, yeah,” She said, expression clearing further. “I just, I don’t know. Being in that apartment with the new coach is….unpleasant I guess, I haven’t been thinking clearly because of it.” 

Neil believed that the word, unpleasant, was a bit of an understatement and couldn’t fully encompass what the pair had felt their first night in with the older man. Wymack had been nothing but distant, yet cordial, since the pair had been staying with him. That didn’t stop Neil from flinching each time he heard a creak from the hardwood floors or Raven from having nightmares so horrible that she had awoken in a cold sweat, unable to meet his eyes. Neil had simply picked up his beaten to hell sneakers and Raven’s boots and offered to go for a run; the pair had run for nearly five miles before she had felt even slightly better and even then she could barely meet his eyes for more than a second. 

“We only have a couple more weeks staying there.” He watched as she nodded along absentmindedly, her eyes red-rimmed and dark from lack of sleep. Neil could only guess that he looked no better either. “Then we’ll be in the dorms.” 

“I know, but knowing doesn’t make it any less shitty right now.” 

Neil nodded along to her words and then paused when she spoke the next. 

“I’ve been meaning to tell you,” she started, “We need to shop for new clothes, and soon.” 

“Hm?” He inquired. Neil had been expecting this, but it didn’t mean he hadn’t been dreading it. “We can hit the nearest thrift store after practice one of these days.” 

“Nope,” She said, over-exaggerating the word until it was annoyingly drawn out, Neil huffed out a sigh. “We’re going to the mall, to buy real, _ new _clothes. Y’know, ones that don’t look as though they were fed to a paper shredder and then scavenged from the dumpster.” 

Neil had found _ one _ pair of jeans shorts in the dumpster _ one _ time, the shorts weren't torn too badly and he at least had washed them. Neil didn’t see any issue with cutting corners with money when you had too. He told Raven just that, and in turn, got a derisive snort that made Neil feel slightly less defensive and happier to see Raven’s eyes shine the way they did when she found him particularly amusing (more like idiotic, but Neil liked to believe in the former). Neil didn’t much like when Raven’s eyes were distant. Neil better preferred having her playfully mocking him instead, the easy banter between them natural and familiar.

“We’ve never gone to the mall before to buy _ new _ clothes before,” Neil replied. They hadn’t even bothered to go to Millport’s backend outlet mall to buy clothes for school, and they had been living there for nine months. “What changed?” 

“_ We _ need to change,” She said, tone serious all of a sudden. She took to stopping underneath the shade of a nearby tree; the unforgiving Carolinian sun was blazing, even more, today and they were near enough to the stadium’s air-conditioned haven of an entrance, but Neil stopped to stand along with her. He suspected that whatever Raven was touching on was going to be necessary.

“I realized over the years that we always bothered to change our appearance cosmetically but never bothered to change our clothes. They were and still are, washed-out blues and greys that are tattered to hell, you heard what Aaron said on our first day here. We need to blend in, and that means looking the part, we draw more attention to ourselves the way we look now-,” She stopped suddenly, her gaze roaming over Neil’s face that had undoubtedly frozen in panic, “Listen, obviously that doesn’t mean that we go back to our natural eye and hair color. It just means we aren’t following the exact rules she set for us anymore. I think that’s a good thing, _ they _ won’t expect it, not after all of this time. I think part of what had them finding us so quickly was because they _ expected _ us to look like how we do after a while, it could buy us time.” 

The _ or, it might not, _ was unspoken between them, but both of them heard it. Neil was aware that after nearly a decade of running, they would inevitably leave a trail of clues that signaled who and what they looked like. Neil was aware, but he also wanted to ignore it, to fall back into the easy and reliable plan that they had always followed, and deep down, though he would never voice the truth of this thought, he knew that was the cause of his mother’s ruin. Reliability and monotony didn’t mean safety, it did, however, create a false sense of security; and Neil had knowingly fallen into it. That was specifically what Raven was attempting to voice to him. That _ he _ needed to change as well and if anything he had to at least _ adjust _.

“Okay.” He sighed, nodding his head along as he finalized his decision. “We have to budget though.” 

“We always do,” She said as she took his hand and began to walk towards the stadium’s entrance gate once more. “We are buying a car though.” 

“Raven,” Neil said, his tone warning. He stopped in his tracks once more, his expression disbelieving.

“I don’t know about you,” She said, her voice slow and steady. “But I don’t feel like cramping myself into someone else’s car whenever we want to go somewhere. Right now it looks as though our only mode of transportation is through bus or car. I’m sure you remember, but I’ll remind you that the only people who own a car are either the Coach or Andrew’s lot. Your pick.”

Neil visibly bristled at that, a car meant permanence and more money wasted, but it also allowed Neil and Raven to rely on themselves instead of their teammates. The pair had acquired their standard false identification and passports when they had originally exchanged their former aliases for their current ones, nearly a year ago, a prolonged date that made his breath catch, even now; Neil forced himself to ignore it. Their identification and driver’s licenses looked original enough for the pair to buy a car, but the vehicle was usually always purchased from a sleazy but habitually reliable car dealership (Neil was surprised how easy it was to find one in the area) that didn’t make them sign paperwork if they paid upfront and in cash, it was a risky process and they usually only used it as a last resort; but luckily for them, they should have a contact in town that was known for their security and easily accessible vehicles that were sold without question or preamble. Neil had no plans of using said contact until it was necessary, but Raven had other plans, and Neil reluctantly agreed with her. 

“Vic’s?” Neil asked, already knowing the response he would be given and dreading it. 

“Who else?” She said, disdain and displeasure evident on her features.

“How much are we dropping?” He asked, wanting the money talk to be done with completely, “In total.”

“At least fifty-grand,” She sighed, and Neil’s insides clenched in dread, he once again ignored it. “Ten will be set aside for food, the clothes, and whatever else we may need for the year. The other forty will be used to buy a new car.” 

“That leaves us with what? Two-million left?” Neil sighed with displeasure, his gaze turned away, looking around the lot; but it had remained empty for the entirety of their conversation.

“Last time I checked,” Raven confirmed, bobbing her head as she twisted her hands in a manner that signaled the beginning of her uneasiness.

“Let’s go inside now,” Neil said, he felt the need to run and have a racquet in his palms more than ever, now that his anxiety had skyrocketed since their talk of money and change had begun. “If we’re late, we won’t hear the end of it from Kevin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, this took forever to write. Expect the second half of this chapter in a week or two, I was going to upload the full thing but got a Lil burnt out with trying to maintain 10k words. I hope you enjoyed!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Neil and Raven had entered the stadium, they were met with the sight of Kevin, alone and in full gear. He had been on the court hammering out shot after shot, almost flawlessly; keyword being almost.

* * *

When Neil and Raven had entered the stadium, they were met with the sight of Kevin, alone and in full gear. He had been on the court hammering out shot after shot, almost flawlessly; keyword being almost. His form was steady and sure, but when it came to the matter of throwing, his racquet arced perfectly and then stumbled, missing its mark by a wide and noticeable margin. A feat that the elder ex-champion was clearly used to seeing, but it was also clear that he was still immensely frustrated in the lack of finesse or progress within his throws. 

The pair had been rooted to the spot near the court’s entrance, entirely fixated on the way Kevin remained honed in and solely focused on the delivery of each of his throws, each ball thrown even better than the previous; their marks hitting close enough to home to be widely impressive for an average player, but for the ex-champion striker, Raven was sure his ego had taken a hit since the events of his injury from mere months ago. Kevin was dissatisfied, It showed in the way his muscles began to cord tighter, his fists clenching around the base of his racquet, his throws becoming more sloppy and inherently unsynchronised. 

Despite their lengthy, and greatly emotionally draining conversation in the stadium's parking lot, the pair had not been late, in fact, they were relatively early. Raven had felt somewhat more settled now that they had a more steady plan in place. However, seeing the sheer devotion Kevin held towards the sport, and the measures that he clearly took to become even better at it, sent a lick of undiluted yearning down her spine, lighting up her desire to play, even more, plans about the future set aside.

Despite their lack of tardiness, Kevin had merely given them a slant glance, clicking his tongue between his teeth, his voice harsh as he commanded them to change out for practice. Neither Neil or Raven commented on the solo practice, nor the sight of Kevin pitching his racquet against the hardwood court floors so hard the boards reverberated against their feet, just mere moments before he decided to bark at them to change out.

If the sight of the intense red coloring across his high cheekbones were anything to go by, it was quite clear that Kevin was somewhat embarrassed by their accidental viewing of his personal temper tantrum. Raven spared the elder striker a few glares, making her dissatisfaction at being yelled at known. In turn, Kevin’s rather intense blush then reached his ivory-hued ears. 

As Raven departed into the girl’s locker room, a riggle of unease formed in the hollow of her underbelly as she watched Neil withdraw into the adjacent locker room for men. Despite the painfully apparent circumstances that prevented Andrew and his pack of stooges from reinforcing their dominance or claiming their turf or whatever the fuck Andrew had in store for the pair; Raven still felt a pang of trepidation build within her whenever Neil had gone in there by himself, wholly surrounded and without her protection. 

In spite of her seemingly endless worrying, Raven held a certain sick confidence in the fact that if it came down to it, Neil would defend himself by any and all means necessary. Even after Mary’s inevitable passing, Raven still enforced mandatory training and sparring sessions between herself and Neil. Since the beginning, he had been quite adamant that he did not want to protect himself by the means of any blades; even going as far as choosing guns rather than wield a razor’s edge in the likely circumstances that would require the handling of such deadly weaponry.

However, just because Neil’s weapon of choice happened to be a gun, did not mean that it wasn’t required of him to learn how to wield knives properly; in due terms, a gun would, of course, be effective in a close-range fight, and it was necessary during wide-range attacks, but a gun was also quite loud and would undoubtedly bring forth more attention then any of them had wanted to be brought towards the situation at hand. Knives were far more swift and no less, more silent than the opposing weapon. Making it clear that Neil had to learn how to use them, his fears, and past trauma be damned. 

As it was, Raven had been given the task as a mentor of sorts to Neil, Mary had required her to teach Neil the fastest and easiest ways to disarm and kill another human being, with knives being the required weapon. One would think that Mary herself would be a more suitable teacher for said instructions since she had been the infamous daughter to a British mafia family, but Raven had unfortunately excelled at such things and had even surpassed Mary by the age of fifteen. Raven also suspected that Mary had not offered herself to teach her son, simply because Neil had shown more open trust towards Raven than towards his own mother.

At the time, she had obeyed without question, interested in perhaps staunching the horrific flow of nightmares she had seen Neil plagued with since he was a child, nightmares that they both shared and ones that had only worsened as their time on the run had worn on. Raven had thought that if he was able to finally hold a knife, he would be able to overcome his past trauma. 

Raven herself had felt a sort of inner calm, once she had fully learned how to properly wield the weapons that had incessantly caused her so much harm as a child. She had felt as though she was taking the fear that had been instilled inside her since she was small and was finally turning it into power. Raven felt powerful when she was holding her knives, she felt safe and immensely satisfied in knowing that she could easily disarm someone if she needed to without a second thought. More than anything, she was glad that they had not won.

Once the sessions had begun though, Raven realized it wouldn’t be as clean and cut for Neil. He had been going through such intense panic attacks, Raven would always have to soothe and talk him down afterward. She had come close to ending the seemingly meaningless lessons countless times, damning Mary’s harsh adamance and clear reasoning behind the sessions each time she decided to continue on with them. As they cleared on, Raven had noticed that Neil had grown stronger because of them, and he had not only gained physical strength but mental strength as well.

Neil’s hatred was a visceral heat that was a matter all on its own, an embodiment of rage that Raven felt connected them the most, among other things. Through Raven’s sessions, he was given an outlet to channel such rage. His intense panic attacks lessened so much so, they only encountered them after every two to three lessons or so, instead of after every single one. Eventually, time grew on and he was adept at utilizing the blades that had perpetrated so much hurt in their youth. Despite just how good he was with handling them, he still decided to only use knives when absolutely necessary. 

Raven had been fine with his choice, choosing to handle them for him. Choosing to be the one who bore the brunt most of the killing, as well. 

Raven had been quiet whilst properly changing into her own gear, her movements swift and practiced, her mind apparently on leave to revisit her darkest of days. Raven tried to refocus her mind back to her surroundings, silently cursing herself. She would be the ultimate idiot if she allowed her interests to wander any further without Neil within close proximity to her person. 

The girl’s locker room was brightly lit by the stark, white overhead lights; making the room seem more hospital-like than that of a sport’s team's locker room. The orange lockers and the walls that switched from blank white to stark orange every other wall or so were the only aspects of the room that differentiated the spell.

Raven savored the quiet of the empty changing room, not allowing herself to panic or think too far ahead. In a few weeks, it would be time to have other women in the locker room alongside her. Raven had planned to change in the stalled shower rooms when the time came, but it was also a relief, not having to be cautious tenfold, even when changing. Alone, she could allow herself a moment to breathe, not having to worry about wandering eyes or questions that would soon be laced with conspiracies or bets about a horrific past that was no doubt forever engraved upon her skin. 

Once she was fully geared up, she looked into the small silver mirror that had been attached to her locker compartment, Raven had found it when she first investigated the storage space’s contents on their initial day here. Raven pulled out the hideously orange bandana from her equally as orange duffle, the piece of tangerine fabric at least complimented her caramel-toned complexion somewhat, but also highlighted the purpled mess of discoloration that decorated the delicate skin of her under-eye bags, rather noticeably. She huffed, annoyed that she even cared about her haggard appearance in the first place. Disregarding the matter entirely, she tied back her ruthlessly long and unruly curls from the dimensions of her face, cursing the small mirror as she looked into it.

Once her hair was very minorly under control, she looked over to the white clock that hung just above the entrance to the locker room. She had another five minutes or so before Neil would come and collect her for their warm-ups. Raven sat down on the bench in front of her designated locker and allowed herself to just _ exist _ for a moment and collect her thoughts. 

Last night had been one of  _ those _ nights. Nights that were spent haunted by the demons of her past, plaguing her sleep and disallowing her to get any in return. This time around, the nightmare had reimagined Mary’s death and instead of it being the older woman’s corpse turning into ashes amongst the confines of the inflamed Volvo; it had been Raven. Feeling the lick of the intense, stinging heat of the flames as it devoured her flesh. The worst part about all of it, was the fact that Raven had been forced to watch as Neil was being captured by her mother and….  _ him _ . She had been rendered completely immobile, useless. Unable to save the one person she cared about most in the world, whilst dying a fiery death. 

She had woken up by the site of Neil’s worried face, clenched in trepidation. His eyes had been devoid of any falsity. They had shown a clear, striking blue that brought a relief so swift to her chest; she had felt as though the emotion itself had physically punched her. Even after he had suggested a very much needed run, she couldn’t bring herself to look in his direction, too ashamed by the fact that she had broken her promise; even if the events that had caused the broken negotiation hadn’t actually taken place. The dream had  _ felt _ all too real for Raven’s liking anyway, almost as if it was foreboding something. The thought sent shivers down her spine, and she felt a fear so great, she thought her heart stopped beating for a moment.

Raven drove the heels of her hands into her eyes, slightly digging into the sockets, trying to relieve the pressure that had built behind them. Clearly, she needed rest, because now paranoia was getting the best of her.

Staying in the home of another older man was proving to be even more difficult than Raven had anticipated, even though the coach had been nothing but civil, and Raven would even go as far as saying he was almost pleasant. Even if the eldest coach’s approach at being pleasant was just acting like less of a gruff asshole than usual.

Despite this, she couldn’t tamp down her feelings of extreme wariness, the feelings of being trapped and  _ caged  _ in. There was always,  _ always _ , that chance of Raven being wrong. The chance was slim, but it was still a possibility nonetheless. Just the mere thought of being taken advantage of  _ again _ was more terrifying than she even liked to admit to herself. 

Just then, she heard a sound knock that came through muffled due to the closed door, obviously. 

“Rae?” Neil’s voice, she confirmed. 

She stood, stretching out the long limbs that had corded tightly in the last few minutes, all due to the state of her high-stress levels.

“I’m coming out now.” Even to her own ears, her response sounded weak and weary. She hated it. She didn’t want to worry Neil even more than usual. 

When she opened the door, she was greeted by the sight of Neil’s worried face. Great, she inwardly sighed in exasperation.

Raven, “Has Kevin started rampaging yet?” 

This time, her voice sounded better; more sure and calm. Almost snarky, it sounded completely snarky. Raven was pleased, snark, and sarcasm were two things she played at well. It allowed her to disguise herself, allowed her to hide when things were becoming  _ too much _ . An example being that very moment, it was if Neil’s all too watchful gaze was glaring into the heart of her worries, trying to sort through the muck and sheer horrendous-ness of her thoughts; trying to form a solution that would lessen whatever she was going through. 

Raven loved him for it; she truly did. He was the only one who cared enough to ask about how she was, Neil didn’t simply ask just because he  _ could _ ask, but because he genuinely  _ wanted _ to know. Raven had never been allowed to have that before, had never even had the chance to experience being the sole receiver of someone’s care just because they loved you; until Neil. 

Neil, “Not yet,” His worried expression cleared a bit, it was still a bit too pinched around the edges for Raven’s liking though. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Raven, “Peachy,” sliding by him, she ambled towards the direction of Kevin’s voice, his incessant orders making the slight lull in her headache disappear entirely. “Let’s go before the rampage actually begins, yeah?” 

Raven felt as though her statements sounded dismissive and biting even to her own ears. It made her feel like absolute shit. Raven was shutting down and building up all of her defenses, against the one person who absolutely wouldn’t bring any harm to her,  _ again. _

They had been through cycles similar to this instance, too many times to rationally number. Either or both of them would endure a particularly nasty nightmare or flashback, sometimes in a row, sometimes once every couple of weeks, but the end result stayed the same. 

They would rely on each other to get through it; Neil usually talked her through his nightmares, but if the memory was still to fresh a sting to openly converse about, they would run until their lungs felt as though they were about to give out from overexertion; and on rare occasions, he required embraces that were held in place for far too long, but left both feeling centered and calm again soon thereafter. 

Raven was different, she didn’t feel comfortable with touch after being in such a vulnerable state; especially after enduring a dream that always featured the same two people, always causing pain, just in various different ways. An embrace (usually done out of necessity for the other’s sake,  _ obviously _ ) or a casual brushing of the arms or legs was done simply as a sign of reassurance. Even then, sometimes that was too much for Raven to bear. Over the years, Neil had found a way to comfort her, a solution that didn’t require touch or open displays of affection that neither of them found they were okay with. 

He would merely show his support through gifts, sketchbooks, and art pencils, sometimes markers, if he was able to acquire them, through the offering of such unhealthy, dreadfully sweet junk food, Neil would often gag in mock disgust. Despite this, he would always make sure to ask for a bite or two, and even after he tried the sugary delicacies, he would remain perplexed, acting as if he’d never known he had abhorred sweets since childhood. 

Though most of the time, he would just offer his support in small ways, such as asking how she was doing or if she needed another model for her sketch work, for example. Since he knew that thoughtfulness was a commodity that had never been wasted on the pair, Raven supposed they made up for it in ways that were humble, but that were still significant nonetheless.

Raven, “It’s not you,” she stopped at the entrance door to the court, but still facing away from her companion. “I just need space to think right now, and being on the court will help take the edge off.” 

It was Raven’s form of a half-assed apology, and they both knew it. 

Neil, “I know,” her relief must have been evident because he chuckled slightly as he took his place beside her. “You don’t have to apologize for feeling the way you do, I shouldn’t have pushed. Just tell me when you’re ready, or don’t.” 

Raven nodded her agreement, relief coiling throughout her chest, her mind felt calm for once as she walked into the court’s plexiglass walls. 

* * *

They had only run about four or so laps around the edge of the court before Kevin halted everyone’s movements, signaling them into center court to begin drills.

The drills were a mixture of new and old, and as they increased in difficulty Neil faced a realization. Neil and Raven were undoubtedly strong players, but if Neil were being honest, they both had their weaknesses. Currently, Neil had been stewing over his own mistakes; Neil was frustrated in his lack of finesse with most of his throws, some hitting wide and most hitting close before being batted away. So far, as Neil and Raven gathered their breaths after a short break, only six out of the dozens of shots they had fired were able to pass through with Andrew in the goal, all of them being the ones that Raven had thrown. Neil felt a lick of impediment crawl down his spine as a result.

Kevin, on the other hand, was able to get at least ¾ of his shots through. For the elder ex-champion, it must have been an even bigger blow to his ego, seeing his shots being shut down so ruthlessly one after another. Neil found that it was almost impossible, how Kevin seemed to improve in a mere hour since they had first seen him practicing solo. His throws that were once hitting far and wide were now hitting their marks tenfold, Neil was sure that if anybody else were in goal, Kevin would doubtlessly land most, if not all of his shots if it weren’t for Andrew.

Neil and Raven paid rapt attention to both of them, unable to look away from the sheer talent that both of them possessed. Throughout the entire thing, Andrew had held a bored and careless demeanor whilst blocking the shots, but as soon as Neil or Raven took a shot toward goal, he was relentless, shooting the ball down the court with all of his strength, sending it so far down the court even Kevin had begun to complain. 

Nicky, “Hey, eyes straight ahead, you two, I saw him first.” 

Neil and the rest of them had been released from the court’s walls for a water break, after only performing the strenuous drills for an hour and a half. Kevin had barely even stopped to catch his breath before he and Andrew continued on with the drills. Neil and Raven had been unable to look away still, fascinated by the complete difference in demeanor that the pair on the court presented. 

Andrew held a skill so great in the goal position, yet he instilled little to no effort into the game, despite his evident and unimaginable boredom with playing, he was still one the best goalies in the NCAA by far. Kevin, on the other hand, was an ex-champion recovering from an injury that should have been career-ending, yet here he stood, set in fierce determination to become better at a sport that he clearly was devoted to. The pair on the court presented such stark differences, yet still flowed so smoothly together. Neil was completely captivated.

Raven, “Who?”

Nicky, “Kevin, obviously. He’s on the list.” 

Neil, “List?” Trying to pay attention to both Nicky and the two players on the court.

Raven, “What about the german swim model? The one that you said was ‘a man literally carved out of stone and made into a real-life renaissance statue’.” Her tone was flat and sarcastic, Neil felt his lips quirk as a result.

Nicky, “Oh, Erik! He’s the love of my life, undoubtedly. We decided a year ago to have an open relationship due to the fact that I literally never get to see him anymore, though. Depressive recollections aside, the list basically consists of celebrities that we would have affairs with if given the chance. Kevin’s number three.” 

Raven, “Ah.”

Neil, “Mn.” 

Neil and Raven pretended to hold even a smidgen of understanding towards Nicky’s colorful explanation, their responses short and noncommittal. Neil quickly moved onto a safer topic at hand.

Neil, “How do the foxes gather so many losses with someone like Andrew in goal?” 

Nicky, “He’s amazing, right? Around the time that coach had signed us, there was no need to have a third goalie, so he was set to be a benchwarmer for most of the fall season. It was also around the time the ERC was practically down our throats, too. They had been threatening to revoke our Class I status for months at that point but this time they were serious. They had basically threatened to lay off the coach if we didn’t start pulling our weight and start winning matches. Andrew had only agreed to collectively save our asses after Coach had bribed him with a month’s worth of horrendously expensive booze.” 

Neil, “Bribed?”

Nicky, “It’ll come to your guy’s attention soon enough, but Andrew could honestly care less about Exy, winning or losing a game, it doesn’t matter to him. He cares even less about pleasing people without gaining something in return. If Andrew doesn’t care about something, he just won’t care at all without incentive, he needs something that will hold his interests.”

Neil, “How can he play like that, and not care at all?” 

Raven remained silent. Quietly pondering Nicky’s drawn out and weary words about his cousin’s personality. Letting Neil bear the brunt of the questioning.

Nicky, “Mierda, It’s like talking to Kevin from a couple of months ago. You two will clearly learn the hard way, just like he had to back then.” They had all arrived in the locker room, with Aaron being silent the whole way through, he went towards the water fountain and had begun to fill his orange water bottle, while Neil and Raven situated themselves against the wall opposite of Nicky, listening with intent as he continued to speak again. “Things were really bad in the spring. Like, you have no idea how fucking awful it was. Kevin had been giving Andrew grief about his lack of care towards playing, and it got so bad, bad enough that Andrew had walked off of the court and refused to step onto it again for a month straight. As you can imagine, since we heavily relied on Andrew for wins, we were basically bombing every match again. So, the coach had to step in. Andrew had basically told Coach to fuck off and that if he ever made him play with Kevin again, he’d break each one of his fingers so that he was rendered useless to the team.” 

Neil couldn’t possibly imagine willingly destroying any plausible opportunity of ever playing again. The fact that Andrew had even thought of the possibility alone made his heart clench in fear, and all for what? It sounded as though Andrew’s threats to harm himself were done simply out of spite towards Kevin. But, there had to be a better explanation for it though, Neil thought.

Raven, “He and Kevin seem to be good now, he’s clearly playing again, So what changed?” 

Neil, “Mn.” 

Nicky, ”There’s your answer right there. Andrew is only playing  _ because _ Kevin is too. Kevin showed up to the court with a racquet held in his right hand, with Andrew right behind him. It was as if they had suddenly hit restart and everything from the last couple of months was nonexistent, you don’t how many times we thought one of them would murder the other right there on the court. Now look at them, they’ve practically formed a hair braiding chain that signifies their everlasting friendship. Where Kevin goes, Andrew goes. After everything in the spring, their a packaged deal now.” 

Neil, “But, Why? None of this makes sense. Andrew hates Kevin’s obsession with Exy, so why would he suddenly encourage it?” 

Nicky, “Listen, I’m in the same boat as you guys and I live with them. The day you figure it out hit me up. I gave up trying to piece together the mystery of this metaphorical Bermuda triangle awhile ago. You could take a risk and ask, but neither of them will be inclined to give a response that isn’t mocking or evasive. While we’re on this topic of discussion, how about you guys try to limit the creepy stares that go on for far too long- Aaron, don’t give me that look! Anyways, I’m personally fearing for you guy’s safety at this point.”

Raven, “What do you mean?” 

A dark expression suddenly clouded her features, her demeanor changing from cool, calm, and collected to immediately on guard and defensive. Nicky’s expression suddenly changed as well, his expression akin to that of a shocked blubber fish. Neil found it almost comical, yet he was far more cautious rather than amused by Nicky’s sudden warning. 

Nicky, “Uh, wow. It’s just that Andrew is scarily protective, and now I’m starting to realize that you and he might have that trait in common. Ahem, anyway, Andrew is crazily territorial, especially over Kevin. He punched me the first time I said I would like to get Kevin too wasted to be straight.” 

Neil, “Wow...you really don’t have a brain to mouth filter do you?”

Raven, “Mn, you deserved it.” 

Nicky, “Haha, yeah. Uh, not one of my brightest moments, but I’m going to stick to crushing on safer targets from now on; ones that won’t result in the physical detriment of my body. So, that leaves you, Neil-” 

Raven, “So that leaves Neil...where exactly?” her voice sounded chilly, Neil suspected that Nicky was in dangerous waters. He knew that he could step in, and defend himself if he had too, but Neil found he was enjoying the look of intense discomfort on Nicky’s face at the moment. If Neil were being honest, he was still somewhat peeved by Nicky’s unrelenting adamance towards his sexuality yesterday, and he gathered that Raven found Nicky to be a bit too predatory as well. 

However, before anything more could be said between the two, Andrew had finally deigned to make an appearance. The stadium door slammed against the wall harshly as he barged into the locker room. His eyes were widened in mock surprise as if he was astonished that they were all in here together. 

Andrew, “Ah, so here you are. Kevin’s been making such a fuss about what’s been taking you guys so long. Are we gossiping? Telling each other’s secrets?”

Aaron, “Nicky’s planning on roofie-ing Neil, some patches are still missing within his plan but he’ll eventually get there, even with the little piece of brain function that he possesses.” 

Raven’s face darkened even further, growing stormy with promised violence, her feet daring to take a step further, but Neil held her back with a firm grip on her forearm. With a shake of his head, he signaled that the jab that Aaron had stupidly thrown out as a way to aggravate them, wasn’t worth fighting over. If the fierce downturn of her brows were anything to go by, Neil suspected that she strongly disagreed. 

Nicky, “You’re a dick, Aaron.”

Andrew, “Wow, Nicky, It’s only one p.m.” 

Nicky, “Can you honestly blame me?” 

Nicky glanced back at Neil as he said it. He only took his eyes off Andrew for a second, but that was long enough for Andrew to  lunge at him. Andrew caught Nicky’s jersey in one hand and threw him hard up against the wall. Nicky grunted at the impact but made no move to shove Andrew off when Andrew leaned up against him. Raven and Neil looked from Nicky to Aaron, but Aaron appeared unmoved and unsurprised by the sudden violence. The pair looked back at Andrew and waited to see how this played out.

Andrew, “Nicky, Nicky, Nicky. My dreadfully stupid cousin,” Andrew’s voice was pitched low, as he stage whispered close into Nicky’s tense face. He was also speaking german, the swift switch in language alone made Andrew all the more menacing. “I’m going to make some things clear, and I know that you lack most, if not all vital brain cells to properly function but make sure to remember and hear me when I say that you will not touch either of them, understand?”

Nicky, “There’s no doubt that Raven’s fine as hell, but you obviously already know that I wouldn’t even think about  _ touching  _ her, to begin with _ ,  _ but if he wants it-”

Andrew. “I said no.” 

Nicky, “Fuck, you’re entirely too stingy. Kevin’s practically wrapped around your damn Exy racquet. Why can’t I have a little-” 

He went silent, but it took Neil and Raven a moment to realize why. Andrew had a short knife pressed to Nicky’s jersey. Where he’d pulled it from, Neil and Raven suspected that he carried them the same way that Raven did, but they refused to think Andrew wore one onto the court under his uniform. Raven and Neil had had to discuss this beforehand; if she were caught carrying any form of weaponry on the court, she would undoubtedly be charged with offenses that probably wouldn’t even pertain to the thing she was getting questioned for. Neil knew that the media and judicial system were merciless, but they were downright prejudiced and discriminatory when it came to the matter of sentencing people of color. 

They had both agreed to leave any form of weaponry in their duffles back at Wymack’s for the time being, not wanting to chance the matter of anything going wrong for either of them, but specifically Raven, in the long run. Neil knew that Raven had been a bit irked by this choice, but since they both had enough experience in fighting without weapons, it wasn’t so much viewed as a loss, but rather, a mere inconvenience if anything. 

The fact that Andrew dared to carry one, or possibly even multiple knives whilst on the court was more than astonishing to the pair. One would imagine that despite Andrew’s current strict parole agreement, he would be a bit more cautious with committing further offenses, but it seemed as though he could care less about going to jail or even getting the foxes booted from the league if he decided to suddenly stab someone in the middle of a game.

The pair was no stranger to violence. They were practically born from such cruelty. They’d used and heard every threat in the book, but they had never seen a man who smiled as bright as Andrew did, whilst pinning someone with a knife pressed against said person’s ribs. The only person who had even come close, had been his companion’s mother. 

Apathy, anger, madness, boredom; these motivators Neil and Raven knew and understood. But Andrew was grinning like he didn’t have a knifepoint where it’d slip perfectly between Nicky’s ribs, and it wasn’t because he was joking. They knew that Andrew meant it. If Nicky so much as breathed wrong right now, Andrew would cut his lungs to ribbons, any and all consequences be damned.

Neil wasn’t sure which part of the spectacle he was most disturbed by, the fact that Andrew was willing enough to possibly commit murder over some foolish remarks that could no doubt be smoothed over with a conversation. Or the fact that he was willing to murder his own flesh and blood just because his cousin was currently being a dick. Neil imagined that he was troubled by a mixture of the two.

Neil wondered if Andrew’s medicine would let him grieve, or if he’d laugh at Nicky’s funeral too. Then he wondered if a sober Andrew would act any differently. Was this Andrew’s psychosis or his medicine? Was he flying too high to understand what he was doing, or did his medicine only add a smile to Andrew’s ingrained violence? 

Neil looked over at Raven’s still as stone form, her body clearly geared up and ready to step in, even if the attempt would be futile. If she tried to step in now, all it would take was slightly more pressure and the blade would be fitted into the slight crevice of Nicky’s ribcage and he’d undoubtedly be a goner. Raven wouldn’t even get the chance to take three steps toward them, most likely. 

Neil brought his eyes over to Aaron’s just as unmoving form, yet he didn’t appear to be shocked by Andrew’s sudden stance of violence but just merely, strained. As if he was waiting for the situation to be smoothed over by the force of its own will. 

Neil couldn’t wait any longer and it was clear that Raven couldn’t either, because they stepped in as one.

Raven, ”Andrew..” 

Raven's voice trailed off after saying his name, it was clear that she didn’t know how to de-escalate the situation without angering or upsetting Andrew further. It was as though he were a ticking time bomb and any further misstep could detonate him. Raven then turned to Neil for help. With eyebrows raised, she motioned with a swift turn of her head towards the two family members.

Nicky, “Just...don’t. It’s fine, I’m going to be fine.”

Nicky cut in before Neil could say anything, his tone of voice was slight and small, almost barely audible against the thick silence of the locker room. His response sounded as though he was not only reassuring the people surrounding him, but also himself most of all. Neil decided to ignore him entirely.

Neil, “Hey, you said Kevin has been waiting for us for a while, you wouldn’t want to keep him waiting around anymore, right?” 

Raven, “Yeah, are we going to play or what?” 

It seemed as though all it took was Neil and Raven’s firm and non-negotiable bluntness to snap Andrew out of his eerily calm but near murderous haze entirely. 

Andrew, “Oh! That’s right! Kevin’s pretty little head is sure to be in a tizzy if we don’t head back now. But, do remember what I said, dear cousin of mine. We wouldn’t want a repeat of this now would we?”

Andrew’s blindingly white grin was firm and sickeningly sweet, his knife tapping in silent rhythm to his words as he said them. Nicky’s eyes followed the blade with each motion, his skin paling another shade lighter after each word said. 

Nicky merely nodded, Adam's apple convulsing concerningly. With a final look into his cousin’s eyes, Andrew nodded silently in response before he let go of Nicky and spun away. His knife vanished under his armor before he reached the door. Aaron squeezed Nicky’s shoulder on his way out. Nicky looked shaken as he stared after the twins, but when he realized that Neil and Raven had not left as well, he gathered a smile that was broken and shattered. The mere image of a smile that was less reassuring and sadder to look at, if anything.

Nicky, “You're in luck or rather it’s the other way around, I guess. You are not my type at all, you as well, Raven, but you already knew that. Y'all need any water before hitting the court again?”

Neil, “That’s not okay,”

Raven, “Yeah, what the fuck was that?”

Nicky, “That’s nothing, compared to other things that have happened...it could’ve been way worse, trust me.”

Nicky tried to slip past them to exit out of the now, seemingly suffocating locker room, but Raven and Neil blocked his path, unrelenting and wanting answers.

Neil, “So...what? You just let him do whatever the fuck he wants and risk someone else getting hurt in the process?”

Raven, “Mn,”

Nicky considered the two of them, eyes sunken and seemingly old with an age rich tiredness that should have been beyond his years. He gave them a small and faint smile that looked weary and threadbare. “Listen, Andrew, is..fuck. He’s a little fucking nuts, okay? Normal people have lines that should not be crossed but to Andrew, those lines aren’t there at all. If anything, they are extremely blurred. You two need to realize that Andrew is not normal, he will do things that are fucking disturbing and sometimes harmful and will rationalize the situation without ever recognizing that it may have even been harmful in the first place. I fucked up, I got what I deserved because I said some things that weren’t cool. I get that, Aaron got that, and you will learn to get it too. Take my advice and just do what he says and stay out of his way.”

Raven, “He’s like this because there isn’t anyone here stopping him or telling him that he’s going too far. As Neil said, he’s putting us at risk.” 

Nicky, “And as I said, I got what I deserved.”

They weren’t convinced, but they couldn’t exactly demand better explanations for an argument that had happened in German, so with a dread-filled look between the pair, they followed Nicky out of the locker room. Neil looked first to Andrew, who was jogging to the half-court line and then to Kevin, who was standing on the fox paw logo at the court’s center. Aaron was at the door waiting for Nicky, Neil, and Raven and the four entered the court together. 

* * *

Raven could tell that Kevin was becoming more and more frustrated with Neil as the scrimmage continued. After that complete and utter shit show in the locker room, Kevin had been more than pissy by their delay; while Andrew remained entirely indifferent, choosing to be even more non-cooperative than usual; barely even putting forth a minuscule amount of effort in the goal position during the scrimmage.

Raven herself was more than a little perplexed by the whole situation that had taken place in the locker room, especially by how easily Nicky was able to ignore what had happened afterward. Cracking jokes and quick lipped quips as if it were nothing. As if he had not just had a knife pressed against his ribs, one that was aimed to harm and ultimately kill; and by the hands of his apparently deranged cousin no less. 

However, Raven felt as though there was something missing, a definitive piece that belonged to a perspective that would no doubt shed more light on the one that Nicky had given just earlier. If she was being honest, Nicky’s explanation of Andrew’s personality and personal motivations seemed entirely too one-sided for her liking. 

The whole, “threatening your cousin with a knife” situation, didn’t exactly prove any of Nicky’s earlier statements about Andrew wrong either; and sure, he had known his cousin longer but Raven was all too familiar with knowing someone for years without ever truly  _ knowing _ them, Mary had been a prime example.

Despite her current confusion, Raven still stood by the fact that Andrew was a potential threat to the team, especially with how careless he was by carrying his knives while still on the court, but Raven couldn’t exactly explain it, there was just something that was rubbing her the wrong way about it all. 

_ Just, what exactly did they wrap themselves up into?  _ Raven thought, unable to ignore the icy hot dread that crawled into her veins and completely took over any other matter of thought within her brain.

She was currently relegated to watch on the sidelines, sitting on one of the benches in the viewing pod, all due to the irregular number of players. An irregular amount of players only resulted in the ever so present frown on Kevin’s face to appear even harsher. Not only was he a softcore asshole but he was also a perfectionist. _ Wonderful,  _ Raven had thought to herself in distaste. 

Kevin had all but ordered them to commence a four-person scrimmage, with a free end goal. She and Neil were to switch out every twenty minutes or so, and so far they had only rotated twice. Raven was a bit bored watching the scrimmage, even though she got the chance to watch Kevin and the rest in action, but the sheer level of asshole that the elder striker was able to achieve really toned down just how much she appreciated his skills while playing Exy. 

What Raven truly wanted to do was get her hands back on her sketchbook. It had been a while since she had sketched anything due to a lack of time. She practically itched with the need to create something new, reinventing that  _ something _ and sketching it into her own world image. She was thinking about finding a spot on campus that mainly showcased the densely packed trees, and possibly do some light sketch work. When Neil and Raven had been touring the campus, the trees that surrounded the university seemed to be one of the main things she could focus on, that in itself was odd since she preferred drawing the features of others rather than the landscapes of nature. There was something about them that drew her in for some reason, and she made a mental note to save time in her schedule to go back and scope out a spot in the near future.

Clearing away thoughts of being elsewhere, and the feelings of intense longing and boredom, 

She reminded herself to draw her attention back to the matter of pissy Kevin and the cause of his frustrations on the court. 

Neil was a powerful player, he had a speed that surpassed even her own, and left other players in the dust in most cases; he was able to easily intercept other players without much thought due to his speed. In terms of playing together, Neil and Raven were a force to be reckoned with once on the same court. They were able to make up for the other’s weaknesses by supplying their own strengths to cover up for the other's faults, which further complimented how they played overall. Neil’s intense amount of speed complimented Raven’s mediocre amount, whilst Raven’s ability to openly visualize and further analyze where a ball needed to go allowed her to land difficult throws, therefore covering for Neil’s lack of skill with throwing. 

Without Raven alongside Neil, his weaknesses were easily showcased. Neil had a habit of becoming a bit overeager when trying to land a shot in the goal, his shots usually being batted away or not even hitting anywhere near the goal at all. The drills that they had done a few hours ago only highlighted this weakness greatly. 

Raven suspected that all Neil was lacking in terms of delivery was simply execution, she had noticed that he was able to easily identify where the ball was supposed to go, but he simply reacted too fast, causing the ball to land in unsavory places or be seen by the goalie in record time. Not only that, having a player like Andrew on the court and in goal only furthered Neil’s eagerness to land a shot tenfold. Currently, she could tell that Neil’s eagerness was mixing together with blind frustration, as his shots were blocked nearly every time by Andrew. This only resulted in his shots becoming even more sloppy and uncoordinated. 

Neil simply needed to analyze his actions before actually setting the play into motion, which would possibly limit the number of shots that were being blocked by a significant margin. Watching this all from the sidelines, Raven could see why Kevin was becoming angered.

Kevin’s temper had apparently reached its peak because he completely stopped the scrimmage with a firm shout. Once everyone had stilled and gathered together on the fox paw logo, he then signaled for Raven to exit the viewing pod and join them where they stood. Raven internally groaned as she felt her previously conquered headache, make it’s nauseatingly painful and unwelcome entrance once again. 

Kevin, “You two, you’re done for the day. Get out of my sight.”

He said once Raven had made it into the center of the court, his racquet pointed at the two backliners who had already turned to leave before Kevin had even finished his sentence. Nicky, who in turn, spewed praises and thanks to the stadium’s ceiling as he practically limped off of the court. 

Kevin, “Now, since the  _ child _ seems to think that speed alone can carry him through a match, Neil’s going to fire on Andrew until he can land,  _ at least, _ half a bucket’s worth of balls. And you won’t stop until Andrew’s tired.” Kevin began as he made to grab for the metal rungs of Neil’s helmet, but with a swift look at Raven’s frostbitten expression, he quickly retracted his fingers from Neil’s face; choosing to instead point in the direction that he wanted Neil to go in (which was wise, considering the fact that Raven couldn’t guarantee that Kevin wouldn’t be bodily harmed if he decided to touch Neil without his consent,  _ again) _ . Once Neil was situated in front of the goal where Andrew stood silently, Kevin began to speak again.

Kevin, “Raven, since you are able to land  _ some _ of your shots with Andrew in goal, you will watch the extra practice between the two, but just because you got off light today doesn’t mean that I didn’t see your truly abysmal footwork during drills today, look forward to working on that tomorrow during practice. Get to it.”

With that, he walked toward the court’s door, once there, he signaled for Raven to exit alongside him. Raven then turned her eyes to the midget goalie, unease peaking uncomfortably. During Kevin’s rampage, Andrew had positively perked up, his stance more alert and excited by the possible prospect of seeing Neil undoubtedly push himself to the brink, too busy trying to best one of the greatest goalies in the NCAA. 

Raven could feel the headache behind her eyelids triple in size and she itched with the need to rub her eye sockets until she saw spots within her vision, she held back the urge.

Raven did not like leaving Neil alone on the court with Andrew, who in which, was a knife-wielding midget who was practically built like a brick house. She assumed that anyone with a smidgen of self-preservation would hold that same sentiment that she did, but she also felt as though Andrew wasn’t as unhinged as he liked to present himself to the world. 

Back in the locker room, she seemed to have been the only one who had noticed how completely still Andrew had become once Aaron had made that disgusting comment about Nicky and Neil. It was almost as if he had stopped breathing altogether, his drug-induced mania had been set aside and all that was left was an eerily vast emptiness within the goalie’s expression, or lack thereof. It was only for a split second, but it was all Raven needed to see. Raven was beginning to suspect that her assumption was correct, she was also beginning to form another presumption that she hoped was entirely false. For the time being, she halted any further thought that we lead anywhere near  _ there. _

Raven, “ _ Don’t _ push yourself. Get creative if you have to, but don’t be an idiot.” 

She directed her words at Neil, fully facing him but she knew as soon as she said the words, they had soon been lost to deaf ears. She inwardly sighed as she headed towards Kevin’s impatient figure near the plexiglass exit, and with a final look in Andrew’s direction, she left the court’s walls. 

* * *

Neil had decided that he had probably pushed himself too far. He was currently sprawled across the court’s hardwood floorboards, the feeling in his arms and legs numb but also pulsing with a heat that was a product of overexertion. Raven was currently standing above him, her expression full of tired disapproval, but Neil couldn’t exactly bring himself to care, because all he felt was bone-deep satisfaction; a feeling that could only be achieved from playing Exy. 

Neil had not by any means landed most of the shots that he had thrown at Andrew. Originally, Neil had thought that Kevin’s firm order to shoot at Andrew until he had grown tired was a near-impossible feat to achieve; and Neil proved his speculation correct. Andrew had gained a spark of energy that had all but been absent during their scrimmage, and once Neil had fired the first shot, Andrew was merciless. Andrew’s catches were relentless and Neil was annoyingly amazed at how he was able to predict Neil’s next move before he had even thought of it. For the first twenty minutes or so, Neil had been completely shut down, he was unable to land a single shot and he had already been out of breath by that point; the breath that had come out of his lungs had been sparse and uneven while Andrew remained unaffected, he had stood in goal almost lazily, arm resting on his racquet with an expression of pure, manic glee pasted across his features. 

At that point, Neil had become fucking frustrated with himself and also the midget goalie, and it was hard for Neil to remain calm and focused; when all he actually wanted to do was gather just enough of his remaining strength and push it’s entirety into his racquet, with the hope that Andrew would be completely knocked back from the force of it, wiping away the smug, manic quality that was ever so present upon the midget blondes face. To Neil’s ever-growing disappointment, he had realized that Andrew could probably bench press himself and Raven combined, and Neil begrudgingly supposed his anger induced fantasy would have to remain an invention. 

Neil had stood, bent over his knees, trying to grasp together the little breath his lungs had decided to bestow upon him. Until suddenly, he had remembered what Rae had advised him to do. Raven had told him to get ‘creative’ with how he approached the goalie in question, and at that moment, Neil had almost felt replenished; his earlier exhaustion had been extinguished, suddenly replaced with the strong urged feeling of determination. 

Neil had decided that he wouldn’t pay attention to how many balls he was able to land in the goalie’s end zone. All that he would really focus on was getting Andrew to a point where he felt just as exhausted as Neil was. Neil wanted to wipe away that sickeningly manic expression from Andrew's features, and replace it with an expression of focused rage that would match Neil’s own. Most of all, Neil wanted to prove that he was worth something on the court, he wanted to prove that he was a player that deserved everyone’s full attention, and he would make Andrew believe it. 

Neil had straightened his posture, rolling his shoulders a bit as he did so and he then began to rethink how he was approaching Andrew’s playing style. In the first twenty minutes of their impromptu practice, Neil had stood directly in front of Andrew, only a couple of feet away from the home goal; Neil had suspected that he would have to begin moving, and he would have to move quite fast if he was going to be able to get Andrew down to his own level of exhaustion. Before, Neil supposed that Andrew merely expected him to remain in place for the entirety of their practice, therefore, staunching any further difficult motions that he would otherwise have to put in motion in a regular scrimmage or match. 

Neil felt the side of his mouth kick up in anticipation, Neil remembered Kevin saying that his speed alone couldn’t carry him through a match, and while he was correct in some aspects, Neil would show both Kevin and Andrew just how far his speed could carry him. In this case, it would be used against the midget blonde. Neil had then scooped up a nearby ball that had rolled near him during his break, and he watched how Andrew had subtly readied his stance and racquet, already expecting him to throw the ball without any other movement. 

Then suddenly, Neil had darted left, throwing the ball within his racquet towards the goal as he did so, not caring if it had even landed. Without much thought Neil had scooped up another neighboring ball, whilst continuing to quickly move to the right, not waiting for Andrew to successfully throw back the ball that Neil had thrown previously, before firing again. In retaliation to Neil’s plan, Andrew had decided to shoot the balls that Neil had thrown beforehand back towards him, with what Neil supposed was only half of his strength, the balls aiming for Neil’s ankles as he darted left and right. Neil felt his smirk turn into a full-on grin, excited by the change in pace. 

Their game of chase lasted another twenty minutes or so before Neil had to rest and catch his breath, he had anticipated the effects of pushing himself so far but he truly didn’t take into account how tiring running back and forth for a continuous amount of time would be, until he had actually acted it out. His arms and legs felt as if they had fallen off ages ago, and had been on autopilot, fueling strictly on sheer determination and adrenaline alone. Neil had practically heard the lecture Rae was going to give him later on.

Once Neil had his breathing under control (very minorly,) he turned his attention to the goalie, who in question, looked the same as before except for the slightly laborious hitch to his breathing and a slight vermillion flush that painted his pale cheeks. Neil was slightly disappointed but was ultimately glad that he had at least gotten a reaction that somewhat mirrored his own, Neil frowned as he realized that the grin from before had grown tenfold, Andrew's cheeks looking pinched and painful from the effort of smiling so hard, then Andrew had begun to laugh. Neil had felt himself shiver in slight disgust at the sight and sound of it. 

Andrew had said, “Well, well. Looks like a certain striker actually took Kevin’s criticism to heart. And in the process managed to blow his arms and legs out. You and your birdie just keep surprising me, Neil, and it’s beginning to grow old and stale.” 

Neil had realized then that he really had taken it too far, and was likely unable to continue for the day. Part of him had been crestfallen, while the other side was silently thankful, in the end, he had done what he had intended. Judging by the way Andrew’s hand had fidgeted ever so slightly, Neil could tell that he had maybe impressed him? If only a little bit? 

Just then, they had both heard the shuffle of the plexiglass door as it was practically shoved open; Raven sprinting to meet Neil in front of the home goal, where he had been trying to remain upright and standing, all to keep face in front of Andrew and his ever so mocking presence. 

Andrew, “Since it looks as though you’re out of commission for the day, I'll leave you in the tender care of your bodyguard. I’m leaving, you two can find your back to Wymacks on your own.” 

Neil suspected that he had possibly, accidentally (who was he fooling?), struck a nerve with Andrew because, after that statement, he had very promptly left the court. Neil had mainly been surprised by how little Andrew had mocked him, seemingly more occupied with leaving than anything else. Maybe Neil had impressed him. He had then thought about it for a moment and had quickly shaken off the speculation, thinking that he had clearly overworked himself and had begun to imagine things. Neil, however, couldn’t help but feel a small spark of satisfaction, he felt as though he really had unnerved Andrew. 

Raven, “You are a fucking idiot.” 

Raven had practically hissed, lowering Neil to the ground where he, thankfully, was able to finally collapse onto the hardwood flooring; taking deep gulps of air as Neil listened to Raven grumble about premature heart attacks and idiot companions as she cleaned up the mess of haphazardly thrown balls that were strewn across the court. Neil let himself smile a little at his companion's growlings, finding the habit that Raven harbored familiar and comforting.

Once everything was clean and clear of any lingering signs that they had practiced, Raven had dragged Neil into the men’s locker room; which was of course, entirely empty. She practically shoved him into the stalled shower stall, taking the soiled gear from Neil as he handed her the pieces of sullied clothing over the top of the stall door and into her awaiting hands. Raven had stayed in her gear the entire time, most likely too caught up in her anxiety-induced haze to let Neil out of her sight, not even allowing herself to go change out while Neil and Andrew had been practicing on the court while alone together. 

So, Raven left him to it, leaving the men’s locker room to change into the equally as empty, women’s locker room. Neil had remained stock still underneath the spray of extra scalding hot water, allowing the heat to seep into his painfully sore and overworked muscles and only worked up the courage to soap down his scarred body after a couple of minutes, wincing the whole way through. When Rae came back, she threw a dry towel over the top of the stall door, as well as a fresh change of ragged and worn through clothes. 

After Neil had dressed and they had locked up the stadium and put back their racquets, they headed towards Wymack’s apartment slowly. With Neil regretting pushing himself so far during practice every step of the way. Neil had leaned against Raven for support for most of the walk back, even as she grumbled something about Neil being too heavy, but he had felt Raven’s arm encircle his shoulders and tighten a fraction; it was Rae’s way of showing that she was worried and didn’t want to admit it. 

Neil felt himself smile, before he  _ very  _ dramatically, dropped the rest of his weight onto Raven’s shoulder, sighing in mock relief as he did so. Even as they practically stumbled and almost fell onto the concrete sidewalk, Raven muttered colorful curses as she barely managed to keep them both upright. Neil chuckled as Raven turned a glare filled gaze his way, but it lacked any heat and was instead filled with a fondness that Neil didn’t see often unless it was painted across Raven’s features and directed at him. 

Once they had arrived at the apartment, however, any lingering playfulness had soon been erased and in its place was stone-cold dread. Neil knew that Raven hadn’t been doing well ever since they had begun to stay with the older man. She had been plagued with nightmares every night since, whenever she awoke in a cold sweat and her eyes full of fright, Neil couldn’t help but feel powerless and seemingly useless. He wanted to help her the same way that she had always done for him, and it seemed the only way that Raven was able to feel any better was by being away from the older man. It was safe to say that Neil and Raven had been counting down the days until they were out of their new coach's apartment and into the school dorm rooms.

When they had made it to Wymack's front door, they had found it unlocked, taking extra precaution they stepped into the apartment. They were immediately met with the sight of Wymack, standing in the hallway, with a can of coffee grinds in his hands. Neil felt Raven tense up and he knew that she was on guard, ready to step in if things decided to go awry. Neil stepped ahead of Raven, making his way into the apartment fully, with Raven right beside him.

Wymack, “Kevin called ahead and said that you Neil wouldn’t be at practice tomorrow and that I should take steps to entertain you with old tapes from past games, while Raven joins the rest for practice. He also mentioned that you may have blown out your arms while firing against Andrew, who has apparently been in an even more unpleasant and pissy mood since then. I couldn’t help but feel as though Kevin had been mistaken, because I don’t feel as though you would be that stupid. I take it that at least one of us is right, so who is?” 

The more that Wymack had continued to talk, the more Neil felt Raven grow even tenser beside him. The way that their coach had begun to lecture them was all too familiar to how his father would react before a particularly nasty beating. It would be a slow build, his voice would be calm and deathly quiet, the context of his words clashing with the tone of his voice; they were always biting and cruel, he had always known to belittle you so you weren’t able to speak back, but Neil had always known better than to do that. 

Neil was too lost in the haze of his painful memories to even reply back to their coach, so much so, that Raven answered for him. Neil was mentally aware enough to know that she had said something along the lines of, “He pushed himself too far,” But all else was lost to his ears as he kept reliving the past. 

One day, after Neil’s fifth birthday, he had desperately wanted to show his mother a new dinosaur plush that he had gotten the day before, it had soft green fur and a patch of red on the belly of the faux scaled beast. What five-year-old Neil had found so funny about the little stuffed extinct predator was how hilariously small it’s soft arms were, he had apparently found them funny enough to show his mother, who had always humored him about such things, unlike his father. Absentmindedly, Neil had remembered wanting to show Raven as well, but she had left a few hours earlier with Lola; and he had instead forged ahead to find his mother, deciding to wait until tomorrow to show his companion instead. 

It was night time when he went to find his mother, nearly past his bedtime but he had thought that he simply couldn’t wait until tomorrow to show his mother the plush, he remembered feeling disappointed that he already had to wait for Raven to come back, so he didn’t want to wait to show his mother either. 

So, Neil went to check the living room, where she usually gathered to read a late-night magazine. Neil made his usual circle around the decorative coffee table that was in the middle of the marbled foyer, he remembered that there was always a vase filled with bright blooming flowers, and he had always wanted to touch them. Neil had always refrained since his father would be angry if he did so, and five-year-old Neil had learned that it was best for everyone if his father remained un-angry. 

Instead of finding his mother, gently curled up into one of the plush leather ottoman’s, he had discovered his mother and father together. Neil’s father had held his mother close, the embrace far from loving. His grip was tight as he kept a firm hold on Neil’s mother’s throat, his father’s face close to hers as he whispered something furiously, spittle flying into her lovely face. Five-year-old Neil had noted almost immediately that his mother’s face was a dangerous color of vermillion, her skin growing an even more deadly shade of purple. 

Neil had been so startled that he backed away quickly, not making a sound until he felt his back bump into something harshly. He had felt dread and fear wrap thickly around his throat, limiting his ability to speak as he quickly turned around, the green dinosaur plush long forgotten within his small palm as he saw the vase filled with the beautiful, blooming flowers crash to the floor and break into a thousand, tiny shards. 

The current Neil had been so far deep within the dark basement that were his memories, he didn’t notice the can of coffee grinds being thrown his way, and they too fell to the ground, much like the vase had when he was five years old. Neil absentmindedly stared down at the mess of brown, coffee grindings on the floor, unable to get the image of broken pottery shards on marbled flooring and purpled faces out of his mind. 

Wymack, “You idiot!” 

Neil vaguely recognized Raven sliding in front of Neil, blocking him away from the potential threat. Seeing Raven try to protect him brought the feeling of relief so swift to his chest he practically choked on it as he was suddenly thrown from his thoughts, he took great measure to remind himself that he wasn’t  _ there _ anymore. Wanting to quickly deescalate the situation if Wymack did decide to harm either of them, Neil spoke quickly, but there was a quiet timidity to his voice that he loathed with a passion.

Neil, “Today I got carried away, it was a mistake. It won’t happen again,”

Neil kept his gaze lowered, unable to meet the eyes of their coach. While Raven stayed directly in front of Neil, her posture was tense and rigid, and despite her obvious fear of older men, she stood her ground. Both of them waded through the brittle silence that ensued after Neil had spoken, waiting to see what the older man’s next move would be. After a while, Neil had realized that the coach and Raven had begun to have a silent conversation between themselves. Then their coach finally broke the tense silence.

Wymack, “You two, come here. No,” He said when Raven bent down to clean up the mess of coffee grinds on Neil’s behalf. “It’s fine, you leave it.” 

Neil and Raven stepped over the mess of espresso crushed grinds and stood in front of Wymack. They stood within arm’s reach but just barely, Neil and Raven had perfected this safety technique since they were small. Raven had eventually taught him other things besides dodging, and she had taught him how to properly defend himself; but it was always in his nature to determine whether or not someone was going to hit him, and he could always determine whether or not someone was going to hit them, just by looking at a person’s arms and judge the safe distance from them instantaneously. If Wymack made a move to either of them, Neil and Raven would both have time to dodge, if it came down to it.

Wymack, “Both of you, look at me. Right now.” 

Neil and Raven both dragged their stares to the older man’s face. His expression was still too blank for either of their liking, but they both knew better than to look away.

Wymack, “I want both of you to understand something, I am a loud, damn near unpleasant, grouchy old man. I Like to yell and throw things. But I have  _ never,  _ ever, hit someone else without provocation, and I know for a fact that I would never hit a woman. So i’m sure as hell not going to start with either of you. Do you both hear me?”

Neither of them believed him for a second, but they both agreed.

Neil and Raven, “Yes, coach.”

Wymack, “I’m serious, Don’t you dare be more afraid of me than you are of Andrew.” 

Neither of them felt inclined to mention that their fear stemmed more from the older man’s age and that was their main problem. Neither of them felt as though he would want to hear it. Their problems had no solution.

Neil and Raven, “Yes, coach.”

Wymack, “I already ate, there are leftovers on the counter. There should be more than enough for both of you. I’ll take care of this and you both take care of yourselves.” 

Neil and Raven congregated in the small kitchen, and they traded a significant look as they ate. They only had a couple more weeks until they were out of their coach's quarters entirely. Until then, Neil was just glad he wasn’t alone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I hope y'all enjoyed this very long chapter! It's probably one of my favorites thus far! Also whenever one of the characters is shown making this sound, "Mn." it is not to be confused with a moaning sound (Lmao) it's just a sound of agreement or confirmation. With that, I thank you for reading the chapter!


End file.
